Tequila Mockingbird

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Monsters of Godville
Tequila Mockingbird
Mimus polyglottos tequilana
Tequila_Mockingbird.jpeg
Class Aves Ebrius
Habitat Desert, town fringes
Description Brutish birdies on a buzz

The Tequila Mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos tequilana) is a monstrous subspecies of the ordinary mockingbird. Unlike its sweetly melodic relative the Tequila Mockingbird is a raucous, alcohol swigging nuisance with a violent nature.

History and Habits

Tequila Mockingbirds originate from the desert, where they once nested on and subsisted off agave plants. With the rise of civilization, they too began seeking adventure and alcohol of a higher proof, so the majority migrated to nearby towns. Staying true to their roots, tequila became the collective beverage of choice. This quickly turned to an addictive obsession, and nowadays they have a reputation as menacing pests. They are driven out of towns with great difficulty, where they lurk about the outer edges waiting to waylay any travelers either for the simple pleasure of a fight or to replenish their tequila stash. If they can't find tequila on their victims, they will eventually retreat and resort to scathing taunts until the victim flees from earshot. Many an unseasoned traveler has been found almost passed out in a puddle of tears, their self-esteem reduced to irredeemable smithereens by ceaseless mocking.

Battle Strategy

Although some Tequila Mockingbirds tend to be loners, most are found in voracious congregations. If a hero is not carrying any tequila and has no desire to fight, the best strategy for escape is to plug the ears, cover the eyes, and book it. If, however, the hero has any tequila on their person or recently drank some within the past week, the Tequila Mockingbirds will certainly sense it and pursue relentlessly. Since the hero will undoubtedly refuse to abandon their liquor, the only recourse is for them to chug it and die happy. Resurrection is easier than winning.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Looks deceivingly harmless
  • Can hold its liquor
  • Witty insults

Weaknesses

  • Can't fly straight
  • Is fond of lawyers
  • Sees only black and white
๐Ÿบ JanuWiki 2019 ๐Ÿบ
๐Ÿบ Lagers and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! ๐Ÿบ
โœ” Complete article โ€ข โœ’๏ธ Stub โ€ข ๐Ÿ“ท Picture required
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist โœ” ๐Ÿป Barbeerian โœ” ๐Ÿป Beer Cubโœ” ๐Ÿป Beer Golem โœ” ๐Ÿป Beer Mugger ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿป Beerburglar โœ” ๐Ÿป Beerkat โœ” ๐Ÿป Beerserker โœ” ๐Ÿป Beerwolf โœ’๏ธ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿป Boartender โœ’๏ธ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿป Brewpid the Reindeer โœ” ๐Ÿป Delirium Tremendous ๐Ÿป Diet Sprite ๐Ÿป Drinkerella โœ” ๐Ÿป Extra Dry Djinn โœ” ๐Ÿป Maรฎtre Demon ๐Ÿป Moonswine ๐Ÿป Red Bull โœ” ๐Ÿป Tea Rex โœ” ๐Ÿป Inncreeper ๐Ÿป Tequila Mockingbird โœ”
Tigers Basement Cat โœ” ๐Ÿฑ Bureau-cat โœ” ๐Ÿฑ Cat Herder ๐Ÿฑ Ceiling Cat โœ’๏ธ ๐Ÿฑ Conga Lion ๐Ÿฑ Crouching Tiger ๐Ÿฑ Dogmatic Cat ๐Ÿฑ Fat Cat ๐Ÿฑ Hell Kitty ๐Ÿฑ Hell's Kitten โœ’๏ธ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿฑ Karate Kitten โœ’๏ธ ๐Ÿฑ Little White Lion ๐Ÿฑ Meowntain Cat ๐Ÿฑ Monorail Cat ๐Ÿฑ Mortal Tomcat โœ’๏ธ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿฑ Neferkitty ๐Ÿฑ Photocopycat ๐Ÿฑ Punk Panther โœ” ๐Ÿฑ Rebel-Lion ๐Ÿฑ Rootkitten ๐Ÿฑ Shoving Leopard ๐Ÿฑ Tiger Lily ๐Ÿฑ Tire Iron Lion โœ’๏ธ ๐Ÿฑ Trans Fat Cat ๐Ÿฑ Weakest Lynx ๐Ÿฑ Wiki Lynx โœ’๏ธ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿฑ Worcestershire Cat
Bears Bear Minimum โœ” ๐Ÿป More coming soon!
Oh My! Adminotaur โœ” ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ Boozerker โœ” ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ Exoskeletor ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ Gastronaut ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ Godbuster ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ Grimelord ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ Scaretaker ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ Thug-of-war ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab โœ” ๐Ÿป Beer-battered beer โœ” ๐Ÿป Beer-scented soap โœ” ๐Ÿป Bottle of beer from a wall โœ” ๐Ÿป Bottle of domesticated beer โœ” ๐Ÿป Bottle of holy ale ๐Ÿป Can of ambrosia โœ” ๐Ÿป Dungeon brew ๐Ÿป Exclamation pint โœ” ๐Ÿป Fairy ale ๐Ÿป Flask of witch's brewski ๐Ÿป โ€œFree beerโ€ ticket โœ” ๐Ÿป Instant beer tablet โœ” ๐Ÿป Pint of no return ๐Ÿป Portable beer cooler ๐Ÿป Pot of strange brew ๐Ÿป Strange brew ๐Ÿป Vanishing pint ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿป โ€œWish you were beerโ€ postcard
Equipment Ancient cork โœ” ๐Ÿป Awkward paws ๐Ÿป Bear arms ๐Ÿป Beer goggles โœ” ๐Ÿป Cardboard box ๐Ÿป Cocktail umbrella ๐Ÿป Cup of woe ๐Ÿป Eye of the liger ๐Ÿป Eyepatch of the tiger ๐Ÿป Flea collar ๐Ÿป Goblet of fire ๐Ÿป Latex catsuit ๐Ÿป Lion's mane ๐Ÿป Liver warmer ๐Ÿป Milk moustache ๐Ÿป Nekomimi ๐Ÿป Oktobervest ๐Ÿป Old barrel ๐Ÿป Tropical punch
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup ๐Ÿป Deliver some sour gnomish beer to the dark elves ๐Ÿป Find out how to turn a golden brick into a pint of beer ๐Ÿป Sing all of โ€œ99 bottles of beer on the wall!โ€ ๐Ÿป Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries โœ”
Skills Beer belly โœ’๏ธ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿป Lion belch โœ’๏ธ๐Ÿ“ท ๐Ÿป Sober view โœ’๏ธ๐Ÿ“ท
Taverns All Inn ๐Ÿป The Battle Toad ๐Ÿป Caravanserai ๐Ÿป The Den of Iniquity ๐Ÿป Dunquestin ๐Ÿป The Glass Cannon ๐Ÿป The Mended Drum ๐Ÿป Progress Bar โœ” ๐Ÿป The Rumor Mill ๐Ÿป Shepherdโ€™s Stuff ๐Ÿป Space Bar ๐Ÿป The Sword & Sandal โœ” ๐Ÿป The Whinery โœ”