Stop a child from becoming an atheist

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Hero
Quest
#704
Stop a child from becoming an atheist

Difficulty: 7/10 Quest takes approximately (14 hours real time) to complete.

Reward from completion: gold brick

Purpose

To many people, the task of stopping a child from becoming an atheist seems pointless at best, and certainly not worth a golden brick. To some, it in fact seems immoral to try and force a belief onto a child who surely should have the right to believe whatever they want. Some people have even said that this quest should never be taken and should be removed from the lists of quests lined up to get heroes out of town. However these people are generally misinformed individuals who do not realise the threat that atheists pose to the world of godville.

If a child becomes an atheist then they may grow up and attempt to become a hero, with disastrous consequences. An atheist hero will soon be abandoned by their personal god, and without their god, a hero is nothing. It is very likely that without a god to keep them in order, they will very soon become a feral hero.

Worse still an atheist child may grow up to become a monster. Specifically the adamant atheist. After that they will go on to spread their atheism and destroy the faith of heroes who in turn will become atheists and continue the cycle.

With less heroes to keep the monster population in check the monsters will rapidly breed and will soon overrun the land of godville, destroying towns, killing people and spreading further and further. As a result, it is vital that heroes should regularly be given the task of preventing this cycle of destruction.

Process

Completing the quest may not seem hard, after all, a child is young and impressionable, surely it would be easy to prevent them from becoming an atheist? Not so, the quest is rated at 7/10 for three important reasons:

  1. Children have an annoying habit of asking silly questions, which hinders the process of explaining to them that gods exist.
  2. Heroes are rather dim, and therefore have a hard time answering the questions and an even harder time trying to think of a convincing argument to prove gods exist.
  3. To maximise the time that heroes stay out of town for, quest givers have a habit of choosing the most stupid, annoying and stubborn brats to be the child in question.

To successfully complete the quest, the hero must first think up an explanation that proves gods exist (hard) get the child to listen to their argument (harder) and answer all questions the child asks them with an answer which further proves their point (near impossible)
If all else fails, the exasperated hero should simply take the child to the arena and have them watch as the gods of the gladiators send healing beams and lightning from the heavens. That should get the message across.

Background

"Stop a child from becoming an atheist" quest is a reference to the meme "What is the best way to stop your child becoming an atheist?"

Around 2009, yahoo questions user JT posted the question "What is the best way to stop your child becoming an atheist?" David M gave the response that began with "Do not educate them, or expose them to critical thinking, logic or science. . . ." About two years after that, on June 25, 2011, Alaukik posted an image of the question and answer on reddit.com. (link to reddit thread) Around that time, the image began circulating on the internet and became a meme.

A Google search for "What is the best way to stop your child becoming an atheist" yields over 200,000 results.

The meme has inspired many related works including a youtube video and copycat yahoo questions.