Changes

Jump to: navigation, search

Beerburglar

1 byte added, 00:18, 6 January 2019
m
Appearance, Identification, and Origin
The Beerburglar. like its cousin the [[Heroes|Common {{Hero or Heroine}}]] is a humanoid being. It has a slightly short stature with averages heights of 170 cm in the male variety and 150 cm in the female variety, which gives it some feelings of insecurity. <ref name="height">Reality Show Host. (1303 g.e.). "How Tall Are These Monsters? Lets Find Out." [[Godville Times]] TV </ref> It has hair on its head, eyebrows, a nose and a mouth. Two ears, two eyes, two feet, two toes and oftener than not, really sore knees. It is in other words, indistinguishable from any {{hero or heroine}}, at least on the basis of a first glance. Beerburglars almost always appear heavily laden with flasks, but again that is no clear sign and could easily be a {{hero or heroine}}. It is then, only on behaviour and alimentation that Beerburglars can be identified.
The easiest indicator that a humanoid creature is possibly a Beerburglar is if it is pointing something that appears to be not sharp enough to slice, but enough to hack and confer tetanus, and demanding all your booze. Thus, even if this is not a Beerburglar it certainly is a beer burglar. A second way to identify the Beerburglar is by very close observation over a period of time. For, while it is commonly believed that {{heroes or heroines}} consume nothing but copious amounts of alcohol, it is not actually true. A true Beerburglar does consume nothing but copious amounts of alcohol and somehow still survives. Its secret exists in its second liver-like organ, which appears to, besides stopping alcohol poisoning, to be able to extract all necessary nutrients for the survival of the Beerburglar, even some that were not present in the alcohol in the first place. How this process takes place is unknown, but it is due to this that if a humanoid {{hero or heroine}} looking creature is found to truly consume nothing at all besides alcohol, they can be identified as a Beerburglar. Of course, this information is only necessary if the Beerburglar does not self-identify, and the reader need not memorize it, as Beerburglars as prone to doing just so. The true easiest identifier of a Beerburglar is it yelling "I'm a Beerburglar. Rraaaaaagh!"

Navigation menu