Changes

Jump to: navigation, search

Beerburglar

2,285 bytes added, 21:15, 5 January 2019
m
Appearance, Identification, and Origin
The Beerburglar. like its cousin the [[Heroes|Common {{Hero or Heroine}}]] is a humanoid being which . It has a slightly short stature with averages heights of 170 cm in the male variety and 150 cm in the female variety, which gives it some feelings of insecurity. <ref name="height">Reality Show Host. (1303 g.e.). "How Tall Are These Monsters? Lets Find Out." [[Godville Times]] TV </ref> It has hair on its head, eyebrows, a nose and a mouth. Two ears, two eyes, two feet, two toes and oftener than not, really sore knees. It is in other words, indistinguishable from any {{hero or heroine}, at least on the basis of a first glance. Beerburglars almost always appear heavily laden with flasks, but again that is no clear sign and could easily be a {{hero or heroine}}. It is then, only on behaviour and alimentation that Beerburglars can be identified.
The easiest indicator that a humanoid creature is possibly a Beerburglar or [[Beer Mugger]] is if it is pointing something that appears to be not sharp enough to slice, but enough to hack and confer tetanus at you, and demanding all your booze. Well you may take Thus, even if this as any highway robberis not a Beerburglar it certainly is a beer burglar. A second way to identify the Beerburglar is by very close observation over a period of time. For, while it is commonly believed that {{heroes or heroines}} consume nothing but copious amounts of alcohol, it is not actually true. A true Beerburglar does consume nothing but copious amounts of alcohol and somehow still survives. Its secret exists in its second liver-like organ, which appears to, besides stopping alcohol poisoning, to be able to extract all necessary nutrients for the survival of the Beerburglar, if even some that were not present in the alcohol in the language specifically states first place. How this process takes place is unknown, but it is due to this that if a humanoid {{hero or heroine}} looking creature is found to truly consume nothing at all besides alcohol, they are after beer can be identified as a Beerburglar. Of course, this information is onlynecessary if the Beerburglar does not self-identify, and the reader need not memorize it , as Beerburglars as prone to doing just so. The true easiest identifier of a Beerburglar is it yelling "I'm a Beerburglar. Rraaaaaagh!"  Where do these mysterious creatures come from? That is a pretty good question, and if you really want to know, go out into the field and find out yourself. From the relative safety of a laboratory with the comfortingly nonviolent presence of a deceased Beerburglar, [[Heliopolis|Heliopolis's]] leading minds have come up with the following theories: === Hero Transformation Theory === This theory suggests that Beerburglars are not truly a separate and distinct subspecies of the [[Heroes|Common {{Hero or Heroine}}]] but actually a corrupted and godless version. This most prevalent of theories regarding the origin of a Beerburglar suggests that Beerburglars were once like any other innocent {{hero or heroine}}, content in high likelihood bashing in [[monster]] brains, stealing their [[gold]] and [[artifacts]], returning to [[town]] and getting their booze the honest way; with the [[gold]] scavenged from the corpses of their dead foes. The Beerburglar, by some variable that has not yet been isolated, veered to a Beerburglar new path and cut out the middleman. It would instead ignore the cries of its [[god or goddess]] that called it to complete [[Beer Muggerquests]]and gain glory by killing enemies, and instead take its beer by thievery. Turning away from their god like this, Beerburglars ent

Navigation menu