Slice of jurassic pork
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|Slice of jurassic pork|
|Description||A slab of meat with a strange amalgam of mammalian and saurian characteristics.|
Move over, gammon steak, as you have met your match in a slice of Jurassic pork! This veritable slab of meat of unknown age and freshness throws its weight around with a bewildering mix of lizard and pig characteristics.
Slices of Jurassic pork have been the subject of several scientific inquiries at Shiny Labs to determine exactly what they are. The cellular structure displays both porcine and saurian characteristics, and the "skin" around the edge of each slice alternates scales with hair follicles. The general appearance of the meat is white-ish and evidences short fibers, like in true pork, but careful dissection has demonstrated the presence of juicy and long fibers, as in chicken. Overall, gourmands and aficionadi of Jurassic pork agree that its flavor most resembles rabbit with crocodilian overtones.
Jurassic pork also has a peculiar quality that holds it indefinitely edible. Its freshness cannot be determined, both appearing to be recently harvested and possibly originating in far prehistoric times. Experiments involving the introduction of known strains of decomposition bacteria have resulted in the deaths of the bacteria, seemingly of starvation. Experiments involving the introduction of digestive enzymes and acids result in the Jurassic pork directly exposed breaking into its component nutrients, but surrounding meat remaining unaffected.
Factoid: As the exact nature of slices of Jurassic pork has not been ascertained, certain segments of Godville's vegan and vegetarian population are willing to consume dishes prepared using this ingredient. When pressed, they state a belief that the "meat" is actually an advanced, vat-grown protein supplement sent to them from the future by their descendants.
Space Bar enjoys freeze-drying all slices of Jurassic pork in order to grind them into powder and roll them with sour cream, breadcrumbs, and parsley into small balls, which are then baked until golden.
When purchasing a slice of Jurassic pork from a grocer's cold-case, be sure to check the packaging carefully. Several farmers have been granted licenses to produce imitation Jurassic pork to ease market burden, and while the substitute is usually of high quality, the flavor usually has some subtle differences. The easiest way to tell whether the slice in question is genuine or imitation is to check for an expiration date, which imitation slices are mandated to display.
Known craft work involving the Slice of Jurassic pork includes:
- Combine with Sacrificial lamp to make Skeleton key.