Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries

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Quests of Godville

πŸ“˜Quest

#Something
Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Difficulty: 1/10
two_diaries.jpg



!Diary↻
Off to new deeds!
!Other Diary↻
Midday: It's a beautiful day, the sun's shining on Godville town (gosh, Temple Road looks great in this light), and I'm buggered if I'm going questing right now. I woke up with a hangover and one of those horrible little pieces of paper in my pocket. I mean, sure, it could be a note from someone attractive from... dear God, where did I go last night? The Glass Cannon? And... I'm pretty sure this handprint-shaped bruise is from the bouncer at Caravanserai...

Anyway. It could be a love note. Could be a "Free Beer" ticket. Hell, could be a deposit slip.

But I just know if I unfold it and look it'll be one of those ridiculous quests from you-know-who. He who might be obeyed.

Well bugger that. Pretty sure He doesn't know about this spare diary. So I'm just gonna write the usual stuff in my normal diary while I sit in this sunny beer garden and drink. Cheers, me!


Quest progress
Quest
# Meh
Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
!Diary↻
The Beer Mugger whispered, β€œI'm too old for this...” and descended into the abyss.
!Other Diary↻
About 1 o'clock: Ahh, dammit. The Great One's gonna expect me to come back from this "quest" with gold bricks. They usually kind of just... turn up somehow, when I get to the end of an actual quest. Sometimes I just find some gold bricks and decide to call it a day.

Not likely to be any gold bricks just sitting around in a tavern. But... ugh, I'm really not in the mood to work.

Actually... there's plenty of idiots in here just begging to be separated from their gold bricks. β€œA fresh prophet comes down with every rain of blood,” ain't that what they say?

No problems then. I'll finish this pint and head inside. Gotta be some drunken idiot in there who'll bet a gold brick or two on... whatever. Woo!


Quest progress
Quest
# Dunno
Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
!Diary↻
The Boartender yelled, β€œJust you wait!” and was heroically defeated.
!Other Diary↻
Fourish: Thish wash a good idea!

Shome lil' twerp from... Where wuzzit... Necks Tayshen? Bet me a gold brick he could 'eadbutt the table fer longer'n I could. Din't take long 'fore the bouncer came over'n shouted at ush to stop, n' the idiot did! So I won!

Went double or nothin' an' since the bouncer tecknickly grabbed 'im first I'm up 3 bricks!

Thississ workin'! Gonna try m'luck at 'nother tavern.


Quest progress
Quest
# Shmeleventeen
Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
!Diary↻
The Beer Golem squeaked, β€œA plague o' both your houses!” before stomping off.
!Other Diary↻
Uhmm, sheven?: Thish wash a bad idea.

I wash up 'nother 3 bricksh! Then shome lil'... lil'... shome lil' twerp bet me 2 bricks I couldn't fin' out howter turn a gol' brick inta pinta beer. Sho. Sho. I tried, smashed four 'r five pint glasssez 'fore gave up. N', n', y'know what the... the lil' twerp did? Took two'v mah bricks n' bought two roun's fer the whole Goddamned bar wiff'em.

Goddamned lil' bashterd.

Sho then the twerp took m'other four bricks'n then I took both the twerpsh beers n'said "Tahdah! Givus'em back" n' then I took two back n' the twerp hit me in me 'ead wif 'nother one n' I 'it the twerp wiv mine an' a very large gen'lwoman ver' kindly invited me out'v the tavern in'a thish pile'v 'orse plop.

Oh, plop. Gotta write sumfing in th'other diary. Shorry, Shoul Shupreme.
!Diary↻
Something something... the Generic Enemy something something... a vanishing pint.


Quest progress
Quest
# Shutupshutup
Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
!Other Diary↻
Bright, too bright: Oh my God, this has to be the worst hangover I've ever had this year.

I've woken up in... Oh God, in a pile of horse dung, behind some awful dive. Wait... How did I get gold bricks? And why is there blood on them? And on... Oh dear God, no wonder I have a headache. Did I get hit in the head with a gold brick?

And... Oh, bugger. My quest.
!Diary↻
Oh yes, definitely found the right path now. Yep. Yeppers. No doubt about it, yep. Almost there.
!Other Diary↻
What the hell am I supposed to be doing, anyway? I should probably take a look at that piece of paper. Sigh...
Quest progress
Quest
# ...Huh.
Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries (completed)
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist πŸ» Barbeerian πŸ» Beer Cub πŸ» Beer Golem πŸ» Beer Mugger πŸ» Beerburglar πŸ» Beerkat πŸ» Beerserker πŸ» Beerwolf πŸ» Boartender πŸ» Brewpid the Reindeer πŸ» Diet Sprite πŸ» Drinkerella πŸ» Extra Dry Djinn πŸ» Methylated Spiritualist πŸ» Red Bull πŸ» Tea Rex πŸ» Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat πŸ± Bureau-cat πŸ± Fat Cat πŸ± Meowntain Cat πŸ± Neferkitty πŸ± Photocopycat πŸ± Punk Panther πŸ± Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
Oh My! Adminotaur πŸ‹οΈ Boozerker πŸ‹οΈ Godbuster πŸ‹οΈ Thug-of-war πŸ‹οΈ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab πŸ» Beer-battered beer πŸ» Beer-scented soap πŸ» Bottle of beer from a wall πŸ» Bottle of domesticated beer πŸ» Bottle of holy ale πŸ» Can of ambrosia πŸ» Exclamation pint πŸ» β€œFree beer” ticket πŸ» Instant beer tablet πŸ» Pint of no return πŸ» Strange brew πŸ» Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork πŸ» Awkward paws πŸ» Bear arms πŸ» Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup πŸ» Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly πŸ» Lion belch
Taverns All Inn πŸ» The Battle Toad πŸ» Caravanserai πŸ» Progress Bar πŸ» The Rumor Mill πŸ» The Sword & Sandal πŸ» The Whinery