Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries

Quests of Godville

📘Quest

#Something

Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries

Difficulty: 1/10

v · t

!Diary↻

Off to new deeds!

!Other Diary↻

Midday: It's a beautiful day, the sun's shining on Godville town (gosh, Temple Road looks great in this light), and I'm buggered if I'm going questing right now. I woke up with a hangover and one of those horrible little pieces of paper in my pocket. I mean, sure, it could be a note from someone attractive from... dear Goddess, where did I go last night? The Rumor Mill? And... I'm pretty sure this handprint-shaped bruise is from the bouncer at Progress Bar...

Anyway. It could be a love note. Could be a "Free Beer" ticket. Hell, could be a deposit slip.

But I just know if I unfold it and look it'll be one of those ridiculous quests from you-know-who. She who might be obeyed.

Well bugger that. Pretty sure She doesn't know about this spare diary. So I'm just gonna write the usual stuff in my normal diary while I sit in this sunny beer garden and drink. Cheers, me!

Quest progress

Quest

# Meh

Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries

!Diary↻

The Boartender cried, “I'm too old for this...” and ascended to heaven.

!Other Diary↻

About 1 o'clock: Ahh, dammit. The Great One's gonna expect me to come back from this "quest" with gold bricks. They usually kind of just... turn up somehow, when I get to the end of an actual quest. Sometimes I just find some gold bricks and decide to call it a day.

Not likely to be any gold bricks just sitting around in a tavern. But... ugh, I'm really not in the mood to work.

Actually... there's plenty of idiots in here just begging to be separated from their gold bricks. “A fresh prophet comes down with every rain of blood,” ain't that what they say?

No problems then. I'll finish this pint and head inside. Gotta be some drunken idiot in there who'll bet a gold brick or two on... whatever. Woo!

Quest progress

Quest

# Dunno

Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries

!Diary↻

The Beer Mugger squeaked, “Just you wait!” and descended into the abyss.

!Other Diary↻

Fourish: Thish wash a good idea!

Shome lil' twerp from... Where wuzzit... Necks Tayshen? Bet me a gold brick she could 'eadbutt the table fer longer'n I could. Din't take long 'fore the bouncer came over'n shouted at ush to stop, n' the idiot did! So I won!

Went double or nothin' an' since the bouncer tecknickly grabbed 'er first I'm up 3 bricks!

Thississ workin'! Gonna try m'luck at 'nother tavern.

Quest progress

Quest

# Shmeleventeen

Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries

!Diary↻

The Beerkat whispered, “A plague o' both your houses!” and died.

!Other Diary↻

Uhmm, sheven?: Thish wash a bad idea.

I wash up 'nother 3 bricksh! Then shome lil'... lil'... shome lil' twerp bet me 2 bricks I couldn't fin' out howter turn a gol' brick inta pinta beer. Sho. Sho. I tried, smashed four 'r five pint glasssez 'fore gave up. N', n', y'know what the... the lil' twerp did? Took two'v mah bricks n' bought two roun's fer the whole Goddesh-damned bar wiff'em.

Goddesh-damned lil' bashterd.

Sho then the twerp took m'other four bricks'n then I took both the twerpsh beers n'said "Tahdah! Givus'em back" n' then I took two back n' the twerp hit me in me 'ead wif 'nother one n' I 'it the twerp wiv mine an' a very large gen'lman ver' kindly invited me out'v the tavern in'a thish pile'v 'orse plop.

Oh, plop. Gotta write sumfing in th'other diary. Shorry, Shoul Shupreme.

!Diary↻

Something something... the Nondescript Villain something something... an exclamation pint.

Quest progress

Quest

# Shutupshutup

Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries

!Other Diary↻

Bright, too bright: Oh my Goddess, this has to be the worst hangover I've ever had this year.

I've woken up in... Oh Goddess, in a pile of horse dung, behind some awful dive. Wait... How did I get gold bricks? And why is there blood on them? And on... Oh dear Goddess, no wonder I have a headache. Did I get hit in the head with a gold brick?

And... Oh, bugger. My quest.

!Diary↻

Oh yes, definitely found the right path now. Yep. Yeppers. No doubt about it, yep. Almost there.

!Other Diary↻

What the hell am I supposed to be doing, anyway? I should probably take a look at that piece of paper. Sigh...

Quest progress

Quest

# ...Huh.

Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries (completed)