Rootbear

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Boss-Monsters of Godville
Rootbear
Rootbear.jpg
Class: Bear
Habitat: Undergrowths of deep forests, base of trees that heroes sleep under and the criminal underground
Description: The origin of all things unbearable in Godville
Boss Type: Underground
Health: 1.5x a hero's health

The Rootbear (Ursus Orsus Radix) is a bear boss-monster, and the origin of all things unbearable in Godville. It's the wildest bear in Godville, but feeds on the sweet sap of the Sassafras tree, a source of Sarsaparilla or Rootbeer, a non-alcoholic pagan beer feared by many heroes and tavern owners. Rootbears in turn feed on this fear by eating the many heroes and tavern owners but are mostly found in cellars and beer-ridden locations underground. The Rootbear presented itself to be the wildest animal known in Godville with little regard for logic or fashion.

Origins

Trouble was brewing in the Taverns. There was a rapid and steady decline of heroes, especially when going down the stairs. The gods had introduced a form of non-alcoholic beer known as Rootbeer. Godvillian Rootbeer mimicked beer with the downside of making the drinker stay sober. The adventurers of Godville had never known responsibility for their actions, let alone deal with their consequences. The Rootbeer was unbearably hated, sometimes feared and framed as a false beer designed to mislead heroes from misleading themselves. Heroes and heroines of Godville revolted against their own gods. Tavern owners sponsored the fights in favor of the Beer economy, though it did more harm than good to the heroes and heroines.

Just as the War Between God and Herokind began, it ended, because the heroes frankly didn't stand a chance or rather didn't stand at all. Most of it was just a group of heroes hitting themselves on the head anyway. Like every other time they had defied their god and goddesses, it was never a fully conscious decision. As punishment, the gods tried negative enforcement, a technique similar to training pets and voluntary lab animals. The Rootbear was created as an embodiment of Herokind's failure to bear responsibility for its own consciousness and exercise self-control, a physical reminder to the heroes and heroines of Godville, a monster that was fear itself and fed on the greatest fear of most Godvillian heroes and heroines. A monster, because it was not just wild, it was sober.

Historical representation

Its close cousin, the Brown Bear in comparison is quite tame and is known to have a good command of British-brand English with huge success in city life, regularly securing roles in popular films, children books and singing.

Strengths:

  • Feeds on heroes fears of Rootbeer also known as Sober Beer
  • Completely wild
  • Has a deadly bearhug (Similar to the deadly treehug but you are hugged by a bear instead of a tree.)


Weaknesses:

  • Sweet sap of Sassafras-Sarsaparilla Rootbeer gives it hiccups
  • Sober attacks
  • Heroes and heroines that listen to their God and Goddesses

How-To Rootbear

A Rootbear can be found when activating an Activatable Artifacts or executing the Dig Godvoice command. It has a HP 1.5x the hero or party and is recommended to be fought with an ally in a Multi-Boss Battle via a Dig Artifact. You should possess an accumulator charge in case your ally's God or Goddess is inactive. Rootbears like to laze around for 10mins during battle, depending on its Boss-monster ability. Taking one down rewards you with large sums of gold and 2-3 Bold Artifacts presumably stored by the Rootbear because winter is coming. Below is an excerpt from a record of a Rootbear battle.

!Hero's Diary
06:32 While digging, █████ and █████ disturbed someone's lair. A giant Sneaky Deafening Leeching Rootbear shows up in front of them...
!Hero's Diary
06:42 The heroes defeated the nasty creature! █████ got 4955 gold coins, a figure of speech, an inner voice amplifier, a sarcasm intensifier and a wit sharpener. █████ got 5022 gold coins, a fillet of the Rootbear, a golden brick, a metaphor mixer, a book of dungeon etiquette and a ticket for 'Godville the Musical'.

**Disclaimer: This Aura of Censorship is not sponsored by official employees of the Godville Game and is the author's implementation of the Rules. If you gain any Auras or Aura inducing symptoms, please consult your Guild doctors for future use.

Godville Realm

This is a list of known Bear subspecies that originate from the Rootbear but have evolved over time from mutations and curses.

Subspecies name Image Distribution Description/Comments
Ursus Biadfectus - Bipolar Bear Bipolar bear.png Originated from a Tradeburg incident and is known to migrate back and forth towards nowhere in particular in tundra plains. The cursed Herowinian coin artifact referenced is thought to be the Three-headed coin that matches the Herowin coat of arms.
Ursus Minimum - Bear Minimum

No Image on record

Bears cursed by a honey-based entity. Story is thought to reference the Honey trap artifact. Little is currently known of its habitats. This article needs more study and is a stub
Ursus Solaris - Solar Bear Black Bear.jpg The Solar Bear travels southeast from the frozen tundra plains to the great deserts and magma plumes that surround San Satanos around the region of the Great Lava Desert of Trogh. The plumes and radiation caused great mutations in the Solar bears which is closely related to the Ursus Biadfectus - Bipolar Bear
Ursus Spiritus Captus - Polaroid Bear

No Image on record

Requires further study Requires further study
Ursidae
Ursidae Minor Bad News Bear • Bear Minimum • Bear Witness • Bear-Faced Liar • Bearlock • Cucumbear • Drop Bear • Grizzled Bear • Gummi Bear • Hunny Bear • ManBearPig • Molar Bear • Polaroid Bear • Rugskin Bear • Scare Bear • Unbearable Grizzly • Yellow Bear • Yoga Bear
Ursidae Major Rootbear
Ursidae Domestica Bipolar Bear • OctoBear • Solar Bear
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