Rolling Boulder

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Monsters of Godville
Rolling Boulder
Scopulus volvens
RollingBoulder.jpg
"Oh, s***!"
Class Geological
Habitat Creepy caves that attract archaeologists
Description A quickly moving rock

The Rolling Boulder (Scopulus volvens (rolling rock)) is a monster.

General Information

Its main form of attack is getting on its side and attempting to bowl down unsuspecting heroes, especially those wearing insipid adventurer-type fedora hats, cracking whips, and stealing golden idols. Those really upset the Rolling Boulder.

The Rolling Boulder was born after his mother volcano said to his father volcano "I lava you." A few millennia later, out came the Rolling Boulder. When he was little, he wanted to be a rock star, but his lack of fingers, arms, and mouth sort of prevented that from happening.

When he was in college, the Rolling Boulder once got stoned, but didn’t feel any different.

The Rolling Bounder graduated from School of Rock High School and later attended the University of Colorado at Boulder where he obtained a Bachelor of Science degree in geology.

Favorite things of the Rolling Boulder:

  • Favorite beer: Rolling Rock
  • Favorite celebrity: Emma Stone
  • Favorite song: Rollin' by Limp Bizkit
  • Favorite band: The Rolling Stones
  • Favorite TV show: 30 Rock
  • Favorite golf course: Pebble Beach
  • Favorite cereal: Cocoa Pebbles
  • Favorite drink: Anything on the rocks
  • Favourite movie: Transformers (because it likes to "roll out")

Since the Rolling Boulder is really heavy, its primary attack is "get on the hero and roll off." After that, nobody is quite sure what happens next. An investigator once tried asking attacked heroes, but the investigator didn't have easy access to a spatula.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Rock hard exterior shell
  • Rock hard interior everything
  • Immune to moss gathering attacks
  • Do not try to attack it with scissors, just don't
  • Doesn't even need help killing two birds at once

Weaknesses

  • Dumber than a box of rocks
  • Will never gravel to spare its life
  • Extremely susceptible to paper attacks