Raven Moondancer

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Raven Moondancer is the heroine of the goddess Empress Ivory. As any hero would, her passion for alcohol and fighting is what takes up most of her time. Born in a barn and raised by donkeys, she was no doubt set apart from the rest of the children her age. She was considered "special", which she took to be the highest compliment and strutted thorough the village proudly announcing her activities daily. Eventually the villages became so fed up with her apparent stupidity and ignorance that they sent her away by convincing her that she should share her obvious talent and charm with other people more deserving than they. Stifling laughs, they watched her confidently ride out of town on a mop to find her destiny. Meanwhile, Empress Ivory was performing a complicated spell. She had decided to get herself a hero and heroine and was attempting to summon one. With the words "Fate and destiny entwined, show the greatest human a sign. Bring them to my temple fair, to be my own, my jewel rare." Unfortunately a mispronounciation changed everything. Instead of "fate and destiny entwined", the words "fate and destiny and wine" were spoken. Thunder rumbled and lighting struck the ground. From the smoking ashes rose Raven, extremely confused and strangely hungry. Looking up, she saw the goddess for the first time. "Who are you? Why are you glowing? Do you have food?" she inquired. Looking down upon the heroine, the goddess replied, "I am Empress Ivory, your goddess. You have been selected to be my heroine, to venture around the world and do great deeds in my name!" Raven looked around. "Yeah, but do you have any food? How about beer?" At the mention of the foamy drink, Raven's mouth began to water. Empress Ivory was puzzled. "I suppose I could offer my heroine some sustenance." With that, she waved her hand and a feast appeared outside. With a joyous outburst of "FOOOOD!!!" Raven ran out and began to eat. Meanwhile, the goddess retreated to the Heavens to think. "What could have gone wrong? That is certainly not my heroine-to-be." She looked down and saw the heroine chasing a squirrel up a tree. She sighed, knowing that once a hero or heroine has been summoned, it cannot be undone. "I guess I'm stuck with her then..." Empress Ivory resolved herself to the fact that Raven was to be her heroine and there was nothing she could do about it. And so the girl raised by donkeys in a barn became known as Raven Moondancer, Heroine of Empress Ivory.