Oak cloaking

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Stay away from lumberjacks.


Skill Type: Combat

Oak cloaking is a combat skill that is hard to perfect but easy to comprehend. The hero dons a cloak made from the finest oak which gives him or her some extra protection from physical attacks. Although the oaken cloak is known to be tough, it isn't known to be particularly stylish, breathable, or nonflammable. The hero also might want to consider how difficult it is to move while wearing his woody hoodie.

Another variation of this skill involves being able to make a very particular type of tree invisible. Unfortunately, heroes don't retain the ability to see the cloaked oaks and often suffer when trying to make a fast escape.


How to perform

Step 1

Locate a tree suitable for fashionable fabrication.

Step 2

Crawl into a knothole in the tree.

Step 3

Determine if there are any other holes for your various extremities to occupy. If not, it is recommended that you put whatever extremity you deem most important out the original hole. Some heroes like to see, some heroes like to fight, and some heroes ... some heroes should stay in the middle of the woods where nobody can see them.

Step 4

Roll, hop, or glare menacingly toward your enemy.

Step 5

Scream, "Timber!" and wait for a strong wind to blow you over on top of your enemy.

Examples of use from a hero's diary

!Hero's Diary
09:57 AM The execution of my “oak cloaking” skill was so perfectly brutal that 90 percent of the Orc of the Covenant's surface area is now an exit wound.
!Hero's Diary
08:43 Unconventionally applying the “oak cloaking” skill, (hero) managed to tear off a piece of the enemy's health bar and stick it to his own.
!Hero's Diary
00:05: It seems that 'oak cloaking' is just the right skill for killing the (enemy).
!Hero's Diary
05:01: The (enemy) was shocked by the power of my 'oak cloaking' skill.
!Hero's Diary
07:06 AM Used my “oak cloaking” skill against the Auntie Virus and somehow transformed it into a pound of torque. Weird.