Monsterdam is one of the recently "rediscovered" cities of Godville, which is strange, because it is also one of the oldest cities on the continent. Of course, as until recently the inhabitants of the city were generally referred to as "Monsters," it never made its way into the "See Godville in 300 Milestones or Less" guides sold by traveling hot-dog vendors throughout the realm. It has an official population of 2900 inhabitants. However, Monsterdam census responses are notoriously unreliable (almost as unreliable as those from Beerburgh) on account of census workers being eaten by undocumented Multi-legged Luggage.
- Heroes heal very slowly here.
Vendor information as well as general data on accommodation and amenities remains sparse. What is known is that there are, apparently, showers. It is not known, however, if those showers work, or if they use clean water. Although recently, researchers have suggested that it is possible that they are powered by the screams of fallen heroes, so it is recommended that a mockingbird is tamed by those who travel here.
02:14 Made a grand entrance into Monsterdam to the applause of no one.
05:53 pm Got fined by the guard at the gates of Monsterdam for violating the laws of physics.
The city's main feature is the central market, built by Lord Pullcart, the Trojan Horse founder and architect of Monsterdam. It features the Monsterguild caves, large naturally-occurring holes in the ground that each monster guild decorated with parts of dead heroes. The central cave, the Horsehouse, has several rooms of broken down gear from defeated heroes which Trojan Horses in training decorated their manes with before going into battle.
It is rumored that the oldest double dragons, having reached near invisibility as they got smaller and smaller, still inhabit some of the abandoned temples and beer halls wreaking havoc with the sanity of the inhabitants, but keeping visiting heroes well entertained.
It is unclear why the city was abandoned by the founding monsters, but most theories revolve around the lack of highly caffeinated, overpriced, and increasingly complexly-named drinks. Rumored however, that the mayor is secretly controlled by The Mind Goblin.
Sometime in the Third Age, a cheese trader from Godville, traveling to Tradeburg to sell his wares, stumbled upon an abandoned balsamic vinegar shop hidden behind large piles of discarded candy wrappers. He quickly established that he could claim rights to the location, and opened up a shop and inn for traveling heroes either too lazy or too drunk to make it to Tradeburg.
The Balsamic Cheese Inn opened for business, closed, and was abandoned all within several hours. Of course, a Double Dragon named Kzeevicks was blamed. This was easy for all those concerned, as Kzeevicks had never been seen and refused to come forward either to defend itself or take the blame. The Inn quickly opened under new management. A large sign at the entrance promises to severely maim any double dragons entering the establishment. A dwarven cannon hanging above the door reinforces what most patrons now believe to be this useless point.
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