Life Insurance Salesman

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Monsters of Godville
Life Insurance Salesman
Life-insurance Salesman.jpg
Class: Humanoid
Habitat: The wild and late night tv
Description: A fast-talking vendor


The Life-insurance Salesman (Venditor praebibunt) is one of the most dastardly monsters in all of Godville. It lures heroes into signing complex contracts, changes the beneficiary to himself, and then kills the hero gaining the hero's gold, artifacts, and insurance benefits. If the Life-insurance Salesman is not strong enough to kill the hero, he may stalk the hero waiting for a stronger monster to come along and finish the job. The Life-insurance Salesman will then quickly swoop in to claim the benefits under the previously signed contract.

The Life-Insurance Salesman began life as an Encyclopedia Salesman, but quickly decided that carrying around all those books was just too darn difficult. He then decided to sell life-insurance because, well, life-insurance doesn't actually weigh anything. This gave him space to carry around his ipad (filled with all sorts of fancy apps), two dozen monogrammed pens, more business cards than anyone would ever need in a lifetime, and an extra set of underwear.

The Life-Insurance Salesman is well known throughout Godville for his quirky television commercials. Turning on any station between the hours of 3 a.m. and 4 am will instantly display an advertisement for his Colonial Penny life-insurance company.

The cunning and evil Life-Insurance Salesman is often found in the wild selling life insurance to unsuspecting heroes. He often begins a sale by introducing what he defines his policy as 'Life Insurance' to attract naive heroes. He then segues into such sales pitches as "financial protection for your loved ones" and "amazing tax benefits." They also have been known to lure heroes with promises of a free meal, free beer, and a free "informational session—no obligation to buy (only obligation is to die)."

He then uses his fast-talking skills and a wordy contract to confuse heroes into signing their life away. His immense knowledge of random facts easily distracts heroes so he can quickly insert his own name as the primary beneficiary. Accordingly, when the hero meets an unfortunate and untimely demise, he will gain legal rights to the hero's possessions.

Naturally, following solemnization of the binding life-insurance contract, the Life-Insurance Salesman gathers his strength and makes every effort to kill the hero.

However, there is a possibility of defeating the Life-insurance Salesman; a hero can point out his flaw of a failed introduction and while he is ashamed, poke his eyes with a weapon! As always, the option of running away is a popular choice.

Strengths:

  • Excellent persuasion skills
  • Irresistible eye contact
  • Great scheming skills
  • Amazing ability to perfectly pronounce foreign words
  • Cares for heroes' loved ones with all his heart

Weaknesses:

  • Weak armor
  • Weak EQ
  • Lousy introduction
  • Smelly Breath