Landshark

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Pets of Godville
Landshark
Hemiscyllium ocellatum
Bulette.jpg
Class Chondrichthyes
Habitat Coral Reefs, Coastal / Tropical Waters, & Apartment Hallways
Description Heavily Armoured
Pet
Tame at levels 80-109
Feature Sailing

The Landshark is a tamable monster shark, but it lives on shore, particularly in hallways where it will knock on doors and pose as a delivery and/ or repair man. It will then deliberately mumble, speak softly, make up fake names, and proceed to say just about anything such as “flowers... plumber... candy gram... singing telegram... pizza delivery... pharmacy delivery” (etc) in order to try to get the resident inside to open their door. If successful, the land shark will then quickly place its jaws around the unsuspecting head of the person greeting them and completely devour them, leaving the detectives investigating the incident wondering why as they eat their egg salad sandwiches for lunch.

From Wikipedia (the always completely accurate resource): the landshark first appeared in 1975 in another dimension known as SNL, the legendary land where it is Saturday night every night and even the most terrible jokes are relevant - at least they are at the exact moment they are being told.

According to the original script for the skit from SNL of the radio announcement, “the landshark is considered the cleverest species of all sharks. Unlike the Great White shark, which tends to inhabit the waters and harbours of recreational beach areas, the landshark may strike at any place, any time. It is capable of disguising its voice, and generally preys on young, single women. Experts at the University of Miami Oceanographic Institute suggest that the best way to scare off the shark in the event of an attack is to hit or punch the predator in the nose. Now for the weather...”

In Godville, it is known to spew fire, surprising itself and its mortal enemies alike. It reputedly carries candy, however.

Diary Inclusions & Descriptions

!Hero's Diary
08:01 AM As Sooba began to glow and grow, fleas jumped off his fur and performed an elaborate celebratory dance number. Why don't my fleas do that when I level up?
!Hero's Diary
08:37 PM Having been bitten by Sooba, the Good Gryph felt outnumbered and definitely lost its will to fight.
!Hero's Diary
08:41 PM My brave Sooba nimbly jumped on the monster's head. The enemy became disoriented and flailed its arms wildly, trying to figure out what the heck was happening.
!Hero's Diary
08:48 PM Sooba viciously snuggled up to the enemy, striking it with high voltage charges of static electricity.
!Hero's Diary
08:48 PM Soaring up into the air in a beam of colorful light, Sooba started to look bigger and stronger. Hmm, there isn't any reason to fear for my life, is there?

Attributes

Strengths

  • it’s a shark that walks on land
  • can survive 60 times longer without oxygen than your hero
  • is an elasmobranch able to resist energy depletion and to survive hypoxia
  • can assist your hero during sailing excursions

Weaknesses

  • docile and easy to approach, doesn’t cause any harm to captors (otherwise heroes would never catch one)
  • they always return to the sea
  • they have many predators including larger fish, sharks, and parasites
  • now lives among memes and may often be stopped for autographs, your hero may get jealous of their popularity
Pets
Normal
Ballpoint Penguin • Biowolf • Bipolar Bear • Dreaded Gazebo • Dust Bunny • Firefox • Hyper Lynx • Lightsaber-Toothed Tiger • Ninja Tortoise • Rocky Raccoon • Santa Claws • Satan Claus • Significant Otter • Sun Dog • Talking Donkey • Terror Bull • Vogon Poet
Feature (Ability)
Riding Alpha Centaur • Battlesheep • Dandy lion • Double Dragon • Godvilla • Heffalump • Multi-legged Luggage • Philosoraptor • Prancing Pony • Solar Bear • Stripeless Zebra • Thesaurus Rex • Trojan Horse • Were-Panther
Dungeon Blind Gorgon • Crypt Creeper • Grounded Hog • Gummy Wyrm • Inner Demon • Vengeful Mole
Sailing Battle Toad • Fail Whale • Landshark • OctoBear • Presidential Seal • Ticking Crocodile