- About the Howling Moon Guild:
All the notable things we’ve accomplished as a servile species, all based influences empowering our best and worst accomplishments, they remain as God-given gifts via the feral ferocities and focuses that’ve existed throughout our particular volatile evolutions toward an impossible notion of an uncivil civilization.
Regardless of the prominent noises and voices that’ve called at our savant peripherals, we’ve only ever been married to the myriad simple lessons taught us by our grand lunar leader; our unswerving guidance sternly symbolized in the skies as a bright white absolution beyond our insufficient sciences, removed from we confused earthling filth as a sterile alien observer goddess – vigilant, powerful, selflessly understanding yet beyond captive comprehension, and forgiving us despite being sort of awful. We're the absolute worst.
WELCOME TO THE WEIRD ZOO PLACE YOUR PARENTS WARNED YOU ABOUT BEFORE THE SEX AND DRUG TALKS! MOUAHAHA!
Wait, where are you going!? GET BACK HERE! STOP ACTING LIKE A TOTAL PANSY! ... as in we already have a tree, so why the heck would we need more flora, hm? THIS ESTABLISHMENT DOESN'T ALLOW PET-ALS, PAL! ... get it? It's like pets, but different...
... oh well great, there goes my enrollment commission. Sigh! I don't understand! My cats loved that joke! What am I doing wrong!?
(Disclaimer: We are ACTIVELY NSFW in our GC and forum - we're neither mean nor outwardly risqué, but we often curse and pose normal adult stuff for laughs because we're not self-indulgent self-entitled poopyheads; 'special snowflakes' must be accompanied by an adult with an actual sense of humour who doesn't give a crap about what people on Tumblr are currently bitching about, as well as providing a written statement explaining why they're ashamed for raising such a thankless freeloading child - proper grammar and delicious tears are a must. Casual dress allowed.)
RAISE your VICIOUS VOCAL COUNTENANCE to the HAUNTING GLOW of our BELOVED ORBITING SATELLITE, shining her love whether partial or whole equally into both our hearts and minds, yet insistently indefatigable in allowing us to burrow on our primordial waste as her inimitable servants!
JOIN THE MYRIAD OF FREE CREATURES THAT PRAISE THE MOTHER MOON! MAY SHE HEAR OUR SONG AND BLESS OUR ENDEAVOURS! MEOW, HOWL, CHIRP, HOOT, um… any noise is fine. It all works!
WE'RE ALL ABOUT KINDRED AND CARING! We also like to think we're funny, but that has yet to be proven - fun is hard to find in Godville. Try it out sometime!
... again, the Howling Moon guild, its forum and GC (and a good majority of its members) are NSFW - you've been warned twice now, which you'd know if if you were actually paying attention. Yes, you'll be quizzed later.
(Founded by TheWanderingGod, whose initial guidance and kindness continues to inspire us all to be the rotten, dirty animals we smell like.)
Firmly-rooted branch member of the Howling Moon
, the enigmatic The Ever
poses for a landscape portrait - what a sappy fellow! Wood he ever leaf?? I doubt he'd willow-ingly abandon us HoMos
! Tree jokes are awesome!
- How to Join the 'New Zoo Revue':
The HoMo guild requires the following for membership: a penchant for socializing, being creative, open-mindedness, and having stupid fun while loving animals (and trees to a lesser extent).
It's SO EASY!
After that (and the subsequent blood sacrifice to Almighty of here) is out of the way, make sure to suggest "join Howling Moon guild" to your hero/heroine over and over and over again. OVER AND OVER UNTIL THEY LISTEN, THE USELESS DEADBEATS!
For best results, you should probably wait until your hero/heroine is out of whatever town they're currently screwing up with their drunken escapades, and not engaged in any fights - you may have to try several times, because Godville hates everyone.
Did I mention the 'over and over' part? I'm pretty sure I did.
Joining our guild and making friends, as with anything worthwhile, requires patience and understanding. After you've had your shots and been checked for worms, we'll look forward to meeting you and suffering the awful sense of gross humour you inherited from your grandmother!
Fifth elected leader of the Howling Moon
guild (or sixth, I don't remember), our latest commanding chieftain Forgotten Hunter
remains a mysterious rogue despite his popularity; those polled after voting commented on his political platform being "2kewl4skewl" - I assume that's Swedish or whatever.
- Howling Moon's Ideology and Philosophy:
The HoMos haven't changed much since the guild's initial inception - we're still a dedicated community, committed to furthering the cumulative comradeship of like-minded critters in efforts to maximize our GV enjoyment.
Basically we don't have much of an ideology or philosophy, is what I'm saying.
So just... I don't know, be yourself and you'll probably fit in just fine, I guess? I mean, you're a kind, gentle, forward-thinking sort of fun-loving monster, right? Obviously, duh!
Honestly, do I have to spell it out!?
... look, this isn't rocket science; we're awesome just like you! GET IT?? Lordie, I'm a HORSE FOR THE LOVE OF HECK, AND EVEN I UNDERSTAND THE GIST! GET WITH IT!
Please, just... just save yourself the embarrassment and do the right thing by joining already, okay? Seriously, why are you even hesitating? Is it my breath? Don't you like the smell of spinach salad, poppyseed dressing and crippling regret?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?
- The Esteemed HoMo Hall Of Fame/Blame:
Here's a list of the most influential people to have ever graced the Howling Moon guild with their presence - made up of veterans and contributing newcomers, each name here is revered and respected for their adherence to making our Godville lives fun and rewarding... half of them left ages ago, being alts or whatever:
The God "Found Alt-self" and his hero "I Am Found": The second official member of the Howling Moon - he kept trying to recruit people when "TheWanderingGod" had decided to stop playing for a little bit. To honor him for helping, trying to keep this guild afloat, TWG gave him first dibs in the vaulted 'HoMo Hall of Fame'. The were no balloons at the celebration. Children cried. (Currently not in a guild.)
The Goddess "Deep Snow" and her heroine "Icing Sugar": The literal power owl behind everything we've done for the last year, she is the sole reason that the Moon has continued to be a testament for everything animal and lethal! HOOT FOR YOUR LIVES, SERFS! THE PREDATORY WHITE BIRD ANGEL IS A BEAUTIFUL GIRL WITH A TASTE FOR BLOOD! STAY TUNED AND WARY, LEST YE BE DEVOURED! She also enjoys art, the sciences, psychology, and gutting mice for fun. I have a differing opinion on the subject, ew. (Welcome back oh glorious Queen - also see "Almighty of here".)
The Goddess "Almighty of here" and her heroine "Lemon tart": This is also an owl, I think? She'd never really said, so I just assumed that she still was. Either way, Almighty of here has been a mentor and companion to me, offered up as a solid counsel with both steady heart and brilliant mind; an exceptional combination she wields well, leaving me honoured to call her my friend. (Also see "Deep Snow".)
The Goddess "Unfair Maiden" and her heroine "Kitten Lover": Though mostly an owl's vulpine chew toy, Maiden is also a loving, wonderful soul with a charming wit and an amazing sense of humour - definitely worth chewing on, in my opinion... also before you say anything, the answer is no! I'm NOT attracted to burly Aussie men in uniform! Preposterous! It's only maybe my fetish! Good, glad that's settled.
The God "The Ever" and his hero "Kevin the Minion: "Not much, other than sarcasm runs thru my veins rather than sap. It's done wonders for my gnarly twisted form! I've been in this guild so long, mostly cause I hate being uprooted. (Come for the Humor, Stay for the Crazy!!) Got Kevin the Minion at a Black Friday Sale from a bald guy who seemed a little nosy. He gets most things wrong, but if you crack his back, he glows in the dark!"
The Goddess "Wholy God" and her heroine "Tauriel97": A silent might in our Guild chat; a quiet knight dressed like a... um, bat? No? It rhymes, eh. (Currently not in a guild.)
The God "Baconaua" and his hero "Maikh": The Bakunawa is a serpent-like dragon from Philippine mythology - it is believed to be the cause of eclipses, earthquakes, rains, and wind. An important part of the shamanistic rituals of the Babaylan, it is usually depicted with a characteristically looped tail and was variously believed to inhabit either the sea, the sky, or the underworld. (Welcome home, pee dragon.)
The God "Forgotten Hunter" and his heroine "Midnight Howler": A complete mystery. Intriguing and foreboding, his identity remains a carefully guarded secret. DUN-DUN-DU-UUUN!
The God "Nyxson" and his hero "Sepherin": Preferring to watch rather than participate, Nyxson is an enigma - like the majority of our guild. I wish I was mysterious, rather than notoriously disappointing! SIGH.
The Gods "Aeolus and Elena" and their heroine "Plum the Small": "This heroine has no chronicles". GAWD! Disappointed! (Currently not in a guild.)
The Goddess "Twifight Sparkill" and her heroine "High Zealot Navieka": Trash. Usually found lurking around in her dark monster castle in sweatpants and reeking of nacho cheese, the pony lets her crazy anthro-rabbit girl cleric drink and kill anything in the mortal world while she writes and illustrates dirty fanfiction stories about big-breasted SCP werewolves and dragon furries. (Currently still in the guild - sorry!)
The God "TheWanderingGod" and his hero "EliasTheTyrant": TheWanderingGod, lost for walking too much and our initial beloved founder, left for some time yet is now found anew - his children remain, and are still HoMo's. (Welcome back, restless nomad.)
The God "Snekula" and his heroine "Petra Malkovic" : Snekula is a new addition to the crew, and despite the fact that we're all terrible creatures has elected to join us in both the guild and our chat lives - I assume he's a snake that rides a donkey, according to his Godville page. That's a win in my books.
The God "Llamaking" and his heroine "Salentina": According to his Godville page, "Llamaking has so many good ideas that they simply have to be shared with all and sundry" - so he's basically awful. Just trust me on that. (I miss you, huge jerk.)
The God "Eragon24" and his hero "Shadekiller": As their Godville page says, Eragon is "not a good writer, so no chronicles. the end. Besides, since I can’t change my name, and I’m not as into the Eragon series anymore, I don’t particularly want to write an Eragon fanfiction… so please, don’t shake the lightbulb". I just assume he's weird and shouldn't be around loaded weapons. Or explosives. Yet surprisingly kids adore him, go figure!
The God "Cards Down" and his hero "Red Card": A mysterious member that has apparent past ties with HoMo, refusing to divulge their past identity. They're funny though, so that's fine. Although Cards has yet to identify as any sort of animal, I personally think it best to refer to them as a shark - a CARD SHARK. Get it? Yeah, I'm hilarious.
The God "Mortallius" and his hero "Callin di Angelo": "Mortallius called out a random number to a large crowd: turns out it was Callin di Angelo’s lucky number! That is how they met, on that stormy night. Of course, Mortallius is too lazy to call out his hero for violating their agreement, with infractions upon their flimsy arrangement" - including his apparently having created grass. No seriously, he told me that! As a pony, I'm impressed! Note from Mortallius: "Gosh darn it, that was supposed to remain a secret!" Also he's a fox for some reason, which is weird because he'd never said until after developing a huge crush on horses... I mean I get it, we're pretty awesome. No fault bro. Ammendum from Mortallius: I have no clue what this pony claims is the truth.
The Goddess "Luna Tik" and her hero "Umberry": A new addition to the powerful zoo, preferring the guise of either a kraken or a skink - either or, both must be on fire. Aside from burning, her religious aspirations require dying honourably in the pursuit of lawfulness and honour... and setting the world ablaze. I personally appreciate her goals, especially the part about sparing ponies. It's implied in there somewhere, trust me.
The Goddess "Etaerin" and her hero "Sareage": The latest edition to the zoo; a mysterious power that has so far defied description and definition... until now! Let's proudly welcome our new guild dragon! We haven't had one since forever, and Etaerin has capably answered the Moon's call! Welcome darling, please enjoy your time and don't eat me - I hear pony flesh is exquisite.
The God "Aljian" and his hero "Felix Swutiberg": We have a koi fish. He's very nice and a good listener - also his grotesque buggy eyes make me smile. Or cry? I honestly can't remember anymore. Whichever the case, Aljian is a loyal and welcome contributor to the persistent fever dream that is our guild's chatroom, and the spiders growing out of my left eye socket couldn't be happier.
The God "Stealtheh" and his hero "Velfox": Being a close personal friend as well as the loveliest bat on the planet, Stealtheh is only here because I've been bragging INCESSANTLY on Discord about how AWESOME and AMAZING HoMo is! ... on a completely different note, since joining the zoo he hasn't returned any of my phone calls. What a weird coincidence!
The God "Czarzs" and his heroine "Lyenne": After turning the lowest member count ever over and finding some curious new blood by complete accident come the new year, the zoo is ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED to welcome another new animal into its food and... I meant to say FOLD! Wait, did I say food?? Ha! Hilarious! ... wait, what was I talking about again? Shit! UGH I'M SO SCATTERED! He's a black sparrow. Which, if I was ever a MARVEL heroine, I'd totally steal for my ALTER-EGO! BIZAAM! I AM THE THE BLACK SPARROW! ZOOM! KAPOW KAPOW! MERCY FLIES ON SHADOW'S WINGS!
... anyway, moving on.
- Miscellaneous Mucky-muck:
If you wish to post a Godwiki edit (which'd break the pony's little purple unicorn heart), suggest a guild event or simply have questions about the zoo or whatever, please contact Forgotten Hunter in either our GC or the HoMo's main forum thread. Not gonna lie, he might kill you. JUST SAYING!
Always feel free to speak your mind whilst in our guild! Although we're a bunch of animals in a zoo, we only live in cages ironically - we're not bullies or bastards, bitches or blockheads.
... or just don't say anything at all, because the HoMo character we know is one of your fifteen inactive alts which you've completely forgotten about over the last four alcohol-fueled months, having randomly joined us whilst your main character's tenure in Harvest Moon remains attentively safe and sound.
Look, it's fine okay? They're WAY MORE POPULAR than us, and they also don't allow Furries - it was something to do with allergies and a lack of basic hygiene I believe, I wasn't really paying attention.
WHATEVER! HOWL WITH ME, HOMOS! You're all amazing! AWOO-O-OOO! ❤️❤️❤️