The Story of Harvest Moon
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, was a group of six friends who enjoyed slaying, earning experience, raiding dungeons for loot and glory, and having a good time together. These people had met under the aegis of a federation called Harvest Moon, and enjoyed each other’s company. One day, one of the lads of that group asked the party if they wanted to explore a country; a land full of mystery, novelty, and lack of graphic interface. Willing to depart for a new adventure, the group left to that new place going by the name of Godville, leaving behind anything they had ever known, and delving into that new realm. After getting used to this province, they decided to implant themselves for good and let their name be spread, that is when they created a guild - a guild named Harvest Moon. Very quickly, that name became widely known. Indeed, tales of their achievements had reached every corner of Godville, and soon, members upon members joined that group, setting the first stone of the establishment that would become one of Godville’s greatest guilds. Due to the evil nature of its founders, HM became widely known as a place where scoundrels and evildoers of all kind could gather and feel at home. As a result of that fame and reputation, many heroes and guilds throughout Godville started looking at Harvest Moon with contemptuous and jealous eyes, forcing them to temper their evil behavior for the sake of the people. Little did they know that this led to a dramatic slow-down in Harvest Moon’s implication in Godville’s life. Tournaments became scarce, duelers became less active, and the overall activity dropped.
Due to its notoriety, the guild still stayed prominent and heavily present in the pantheons. Time passed, and Harvest Moon’s evilness perdured through tales and evil acts here and there. The founders had become a rare sight, and a new generation of heroes were now doing the Harvester’s dark biddings. That is when The Great Harvester Of Sorrow decided that it was time. It was time to restore Harvest Moon’s past glory. In order to gather enough strength for that humongous task, he devoured the Elders, making one with them and guaranteeing that they would forever be at the very center of Harvest Moon’s whereabouts, and named new heroes, new Gods, to take over the legacy.
To Be Continued...
We normally fight to win. Relentless adskickery will ensure a steady climb in the pantheon for Harvest Moon and promote the guild through a display of skill and high ranks in the dueler/gladiatorship pantheons. It is not, however, compulsory to fight to win. This game is meant to be played and enjoy as you see fit as long as you don’t break official GV rules.
The arena mechanics are such that the only factor limiting your success will be your definition of morals. Everybody in the arena has their own definition of what is fair and what isn’t and plays according to that personal code. A partial list of things people might believe is fair or unfair includes: buying charges, using multiple accounts, sniping, announcing, jumping announcers, matching friends on purpose, and hunting. Every single dueler will have a different view on what's fair and not. You will inadvertently anger somebody sometime with your play style. Don’t let people dictate what is acceptable: for every person that doesn’t agree with you, there might be a hundred others doing the same thing. If you ask yourself “can I do that?”, and if it doesn’t go against any rule set by Godville, the answer is yes. Do it.
Dungeon and Sail Policy
Originally penned by Brihtnoth, the following document has been adapted for guild-wide use.
Legalese contractual stuff: Terms of Service
Section I: Dungeoneering
Section II: Sailing
Section I: Dungeoneering
1a By entering into a dungeon expedition with a hero directed by a deity of the guild Harvest Moon, hereafter to be referred to as the driver, you implicitly agree to the below conditions if
- you do not choose to be the driver yourself, and/or
- you do not choose to be in it to win it, and/or
- you run out of (the will to spend) godpower and/or godpower charges, and/or
- your attention is diverted from your own hero/ine and their well-being for whichever reason.
1b Reasons for diverted attention may include (but are not limited to):
- work-related affairs;
- family-related affairs;
- force majeure;
- religious or other convictions;
- medical grounds;
ducktarded delusional unfounded notion that other deities have a moral responsibility to take care of your hero or heroine in a dungeon at all costs.
2 If any or all of the above holds true, you implicitly agree to the following:
- The driver may choose to take up the responsibility of driving for the duration of the dungeon expedition or less;
- The driver may attempt to optimise the gold and items gained by his aforementioned hero Snotolf by killing off as many party members as possible;
- The driver may attempt to optimise the adventure points gained by his aforementioned hero’s guild by killing off as many party members as possible;
- The driver may attempt to minimise the gold and items gained by your hero/ine by killing them off;
- The driver may attempt to minimise the adventure points gained by your hero/ine’s guild by killing them off.
3 If any or all of the above holds true, you also implicitly agree with the driver achieving these aims by:
- hitting the same trap or traps repeatedly, and/or
- wandering around to find as many boss monsters as possible, and/or
- showering the party of heroes with punishment damage, and/or
- postponing exiting (in the case of toxicity type dungeons), and/or
- any other method with which damage is inflicted upon one or more heroes,
until he is sufficiently satisfied.
4 If any or all of the above holds true, you implicitly forfeit the right to:
- claim you have not read these terms, as you freed up time from playing this game which gave you ample time to read them;
- disagree with these terms, as you could have taken the wheel right away instead of waiting for someone else to do the heavy lifting for you;
- complain to the driver via the direct messaging system, guild chat, all and sundry forum pages, and all and sundry third party communication apps;
- complain about the driver via the direct messaging system, the reporting system, guild chat, all and sundry forum pages, and all and sundry third party communication apps to any third party;
- hold a grudge against the driver for longer than five minutes, which start at the instant you discover your hero/ine is or was the (attempted) victim of an attempted optimisation or minimalisation of the motives mentioned under 2.
5 If you feel unhappy with the (style of) driving of or the direction taken by the driver, you are free to approach him via the private messaging system (barring for purposes such as mentioned under 4.3), and kindly and gently express your thoughts. The driver is a sociable and conscientious person and will always respond in kind to whichever way he is approached, even to suggestions to take over driving from him, but only if sufficiently prefaced with kindness and a pinch of humility.
6 This section only applies if the driver is, in fact, Brihtnoth. If you feel lucky, you can coax the driver into summoning his 300% Shamaniac to fight on his (and your) behalf, if the following conditions are met:
- the driver has no more cooldown on summoning it;
- the driver has sufficient godpower to summon it;
- the driver has not been previously embroiled in any beef with you without subsequent kissing and making
- you have posted on the Harvest Moon forum thread the following text: ‘Brihtnoth is my hero, because he’s generous and selfless and the awesomest player in the entire game!’ in the past 24 hours, without removing it again;
- the driver feels like summoning it;
- you understand transactions.
7 When a Harvest Moon member is not the driver, they may opt to let their hero die the death of the AFK. In this case, they do not care. You may parade around the killing of their hero as a badge of honour and boast about it for all they care. Congratulations, you won something in a game.
Section II: Sailing
1 When your hero/ine happens to be sailing the same seas as a member of Harvest Moon, hereafter to be referred to as the captain, you implicitly agree to the following terms:
- You understand that the captain may use all game possibilities (listed under 2) for any reasons (listed under 3) that sailing in this game offers;
- You understand that, beyond the Terms and Conditions as stated by the Godville Dev Team, there are neither any moral guidelines laid out for sailing, nor any rules set up for sailing ‘the correct way’;
- You understand that there is no treasure with the name of your hero/ine on it until you have safely helped your hero take it across the edge or back to port;
- You understand that there is no fenimal with the name of your hero/ine on it until you have safely helped your hero take it across the edge or back to port;
- You understand that there is no manimal with the name of your hero/ine on it until you have safely helped your hero take it across the edge or back to port;
- You understand that there is no crate with the name of your hero/ine on it until you have safely helped your hero take it across the edge or back to port;
- You understand that there is no island with the name of your hero/ine on it until you have had your hero/ine explore that island and taken its bonus;
- You understand that there is no section of the map with the name of your hero/ine on it;
- You understand that there is no hint with the name of your hero/ine on it until you have explored it.
2 The captain may choose to sail to reach the objectives of:
- AFK sailing without any care for the consequences;
- sinking any or all hero/ines belonging to guilds other than Harvest Moon, regardless of them having any booty stashed in their holds;
- together with a guild member or other allied deity, ganging up on any or all players belonging to guilds other than Harvest Moon, regardless of them having any booty stashed in their holds;
- chasing any or all players belonging to guilds other than Harvest Moon across the map for nothing else but a laugh;
- bothering nobody and try to get modest or outrageous amounts of treasure.
3 Motives for the captain for pursuing the objectives stated under 2 may be (but are not limited to):
- preventing other guilds from accumulating maximum adventure points;
- optimising adventure points accumulated for Harvest Moon;
- preventing other deities from accumulating maximum booty;
- optimising the booty gained by the captain's hero;
- assisting fellow guild members or allied friends in acquiring any booty of their choice;
- having highly personalised fun;
- entertaining fellow guild members;
- thwarting rival guild members in any or every objective;
- scaring other deities;
- following up on opportunistic impulses;
- perpetuating the completely unfounded perception of Harvest Moon members all being heartless and soulless bullies.
4 When the HM member is AFK, they may choose to let their hero be sunk. In this case, they do not care. You may parade around the sinking of their hero as a badge of honour and boast about it for all they care. Congratulations, you won something in a game.
All is fair within the rules of Godville for recruiting outside members. The best way to attract awesome members is by being active and impressive.
Of course, threats, blackmail, bribery, and other forms of indoctrination are very much encouraged when recruiting too.
The Harvest Moon Corporate Structure
Boss and Chief Execution Officer
- The guild totem monster is the boss of HM. Everyone in HM answers to the CEO. The boss is appointed by the elected leader of HM and must fight the former totem to the death before leading HM. The totem is the Boss of HM but, like most bosses, doesn’t want to be disturbed except to execute AFKs, drink their blood, and play ball games with their severed heads.
The Managerial Board
- Executive executioners. In charge of all daily activity, educating noobs, and sacrificing the lives of all goody goodies. Serves four-month terms, can serve unlimited terms. Appoints supervisors by simple majority. Can execute any supervisor with unanimous support.
The Supervisory Board
- In charge of spotting the awesome amongst guild members, supporting the guild, and keeping the management board in check by way of corporate violence. Can execute any manager with simple majority.
- A great place to start in one's desire to move up the ranks of Harvest Moon. Members listed here actively represent how great HM can be.
These Representatives shall travel these lands in advancement of our guild, delivering our word to those who’ve been deemed worthy enough to receive our blessings, as well as those who dare oppose our rule.
These evil-doers managed to kiss enough hands and shake enough babies to earn the popular vote of all members ranked Cardinal or above. If they aren't on your friends list, they should be! They've earned the honor to choose their method of execution if they ever leave the guild.
Read about the history of Harvest Moon elections here
Our guild is proud to be home to the best and evilest members in all of Godville.
Our members can be viewed at the Harvest Moon Stats Page.
Friends & Enemies
Our allies work together with us in mutual goals providing mutual benefits and maximum power.
Our enemies are respected, skilled and overall our biggest competition in Godville. to be the best we will beat the best, or the next best thing.
Harvest Moon Company Jargon
As with any professional organisation, Harvest Moon has its own sociolect. The expressions and words used broadly fall into two categories: swearing and announcing.
Swearing: is disapproved of. We may be evil but are also civil.
- Ads/Add: rump or terminus of the digestive tract;
- Cheesus: invocation of a cult leader;
- Dam: general interjection;
- Dam it: inflict misfortune upon [object];
- Duck/🦆: either an unpleasant person, a part of the male anatomy, or the act of procreation (usually with object);
- Ducking: adjectival or present continuous form of the above;
- Rear End Colonic Terminus Underwear Maculator: just that, verbose;
- Shift: general interjection;
- Shifty: adjectival form of shift.
Note: calling your hero(ine) a Smelly Poopy Face is accepted.
Functional expressions (swearing is highly functional too, so let's forget that word) that are used to make everyday business run smoothly.
- NT in: temple builder sending hero into junior arena;
- T in: temple owner sending hero into senior arena;
- (N)T/D/S@:45: sending hero into arena/dungeon/sail when the clock says N:45, where N represents the hour appropriate to your time zone;
- D in/ Din/Dropped: hero queued up to match in a dungeon;
- S in/Sin/⛵ in: hero queued up to match in a sail;
- Dig hook/Boss hook/Dig boss: partners needed for dig boss fight;
- NM: no match, also: "nobody wanted to play with me, and now I'm all alone crying by myself".
19:41 Stared at the moon. The moon stared back.
08:50 There's a waxing moon tonight. I expect a hairy residue in the morning.
10:56 No matter where I go, the moon is always there. Is it following me?
The Harvester Prayer
- Thy Great Harvester
- Who art in Harvest Moon
- Hallowed be thy Name
- Thy executions will come
- Thy will be done
- In Godville as it is in Roflopolis
- Give us this day our daily blood
- And forgive us our mercy
- As we forgive those who show mercy
- And deliver us from good
- For Yours is the torture room, the power and the glory
- By Pysrilexot 庙舟畜(U • C • T) and Hairplug4men 庙舟畜商馴(U • C • T)