Grounded Hog

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Pets of Godville
Grounded Hog
HidingHog.jpg
Class: Woodchuck
Natural Habitat: Underground Burrows
Description: Fuzzy Wuzzy
Tameable at levels: 60-89 (?)
Feature: Dungeon-Ability
A grounded hog laughs at a hero.
A grounded hog tells a hero to stop and back away slowly
A grounded hog waits for their hero to get stitched up.
The Grounded Hog (Marmota fundati) is a tameable monster that is the second-cousin twice removed and then put back again to the more commonly known woodchuck. However, they don't like any references to chucking wood and if stopped to ask how much wood their almost second-cousins chuck in a given day if they felt so inclined to chuck said wood, the Grounded Hog would tuck itself into the fetal position and immediately fall asleep out of boredom. The Grounded Hog would then hope that you will assume they died of said boredom before you even finished your question.

The Grounded Hog, much like its totally unrelated animal kingdom friend your hero, will be sure to eat and drink at every opportunity so that it can store fat reserves for later. They prefer to hibernate so finding one is rare, unless it's the second Tuesday of the third month on a leap year with the grass and shrubbery being a perfect mix of green such as that depicted in the photo. Your hero need only have a really nice looking, fully encumbered appearance with fully packed backpack with the words "I am friendly and come bearing hugs!" painted onto it with each letter carefully painted in descending order of the rainbow. Any deviation from this procedure will result in the grounded hog burrowing in order to hide until your hero is miles away. Therefore, it is far more likely that your hero or heroine found their pet companion whilst hiding from a noise that they assumed was a monster, but of course they would never dare record THAT in their diary.

Grounded Hogs will eat their way through the trees, bushes, and grass much like a Tasmanian devil - only to try to make its way to the next stream to sleep all of that hard work off. The Grounded Hog will likely try to waddle away during its first opportunity to do so while the hero sleeps, unless it feels it has to take care of the hero much like it would one of its newborns in which case it will let your hero be in its glorious presence several months before trying to see if you can make it on your own without it.

Grounded Hogs will begin to float away like a balloon once they have eaten too much, with heavier ones going higher than hogs who have only eaten until they are full. Grounded Hogs can also climb trees, wade through mud, walk tight ropes, make cute little foot-print cards perfect for any special occasion, and are gold medal winning Olympic swimmers. Grounded Hogs also enjoy random conversations in which they do not have to respond or contribute, shows only available on reruns & repeats, whistling, archeological digs, making fun of woodchucks, mazes, and hiding from shadows. Grounded Hog Day is celebrated every February 31st.

Strengths:

  • Can create a burrow to hide in from stronger monsters
  • Will sometimes purr at your hero or even hug them, healing them for a few points
  • Can travel with your hero into the dungeon and burrow past rooms with no visible exits

Weaknesses:

  • Likes to eat and sleep as much as your hero
  • Scared of loud noises
  • Does not realize the hero is not one of its offspring