Dinner for One
- 1 New to "Dinner for One"?
- 2 All you can kill and eat...
- 3 The Dinner
- 4 Miss Sophie and the initial diners
- 5 The Standard Menu
- 6 Dinner for One - the Movie!
- 7 Founders HEROINES and HEROES of "Dinner for One"
- 8 Ghosts of older famous heroes and heroines of Dinner for one
- 9 Honorary mentions and Press clippings
- 10 HAVE YOUR PET NEUTERED! NEW SERVICE!
- 11 Where to find us
- 12 CATERING SERVICES
- 13 Our greatest WISH
- 14 What happened before
- 15 Leaders through Time
- 16 The Last Dinner
New to "Dinner for One"?
Dinner for One is the guild for all heroes and heroines who feel the pangs of hunger. Yes, that includes you! Fighting monsters makes heroes hungry! But dinner is ready, so join us! Just type 'Join guild "Dinner for One", please ... into the voice of god, and soon, you'll be sitting at our table! Dinner will make you strong again, make cruel heroes more evil and kind heroines good. Tipsy heroes may have a better chance to find treasure when digging or gold when sifting sand - that is the special effect of our champagne!
Members of any other guild are of course welcome at any time, we have place for thousands of heroes, through a kind of "feeding the 5.000" mechanism known from previous heroes - or gods, both are invited.
Stay in the guild to make it strong! But remember, when the command "find a guildmaster and ask him to enroll you into ....", ask your god to send the command "stop quest!" Dinner will be served.
All you can kill and eat...
Out in the field, all of us, kind or evil, are annoyed by monsters who want our best - our dear life! Well, we want their best, too; their kidneys, muscles, intestines, eyes, bones, you name it! What can be killed can be eaten, even our pets, that is our second motto (our first one is of course We feed HEROES!). And if we cannot eat it, we can make some kind of potent medicine of it - mostly solved in P.E.P.S.I. -, or we put it into a bottle of strong alcohol and make it useful. Nothing, however monstrous, is being wasted! Our famous Butler and Chef James will be very happy if you bring your road kill along. And we have dishes for the stronger palate as well as for the softer ones. Tug in!
Many of us heroes can of course not always attend the table, being busy making gold for all that champagne, the port and sherry, and all those Mulligatawnies, Fish and Chicken we consume. But alas, there is James, our true, honest and hard working butler, who jumps in for the heroes who are busy fighting. The table is extendable, there is place for 9.999 heroes and heroines, and then some. Everybody will be served by James. So if you don't see yourself here at the table, James will stand (or sway) in for you! Don't forget to cheer our good Miss Sophie ...
Miss Sophie and the initial diners
The reason for our permanent dinner table is of course Miss Sophie, our happy and hungry heroine, who has her birthday today! Let's all salute to her ... She is turning 90 today (and tomorrow and the day after ...)!
When our guild was still small, there were only six of us; Miss Sophie, at the head of the table; Sir Toby, revered fighter for good and evil; Admiral von Schneider, defender of Godville's virgins; Lord Pommeroy (known in earlier times as Mister Pommeroy, recently knighted); Mister Winterbottom, the most fervous lover of the forever young Miss Sophie. And let's not forget the tiger skin in front of the fireplace; it was shot by Sir Toby on one of his frequent expeditions to the low gravity plains ("Admiral von Schneider, I presume?"), and stuffed by young Mister Winterbottom. He's trying to lay a bit low today.
When not stumbling over the tiger's head, Butler James will impersonate anyone who has joined the table, all those legions of heroes and ranks of files of Godville fighters, filling and emptying their glasses, flasks, vases, and cheer our Miss Sophie! Later, he will also impersonate each and every one when he brings Miss Sophie into her chambers ...
The Standard Menu
Aside from our special dishes James prepares, with the help of his Frying Dutchmen and other helpers, and soon with our new Sous Chef (to be announced soon!), we also feature our standard menu, which has been featured in the film featuring our guild.
So, sit down and enjoy the meal, share it with all of us!
Drunk Celery Stalker Headless Chicken in donor blood crustServed with our most excellent Tradeburg Champagne
When Madame retires, James will do his very best, for all of us.
Join us, if you are hungry and thirsty and like to enjoy a good night. And always carry something to drink with you - even in your motto: (hourly fresh from Beerburgh itself - copy it paste it behind your motto)
Dinner for One - the Movie!
Our guild is now on the silver screen: Movie of our dinner!! Someone daringly made a film about our heroes' dinner!
Founders HEROINES and HEROES of "Dinner for One"
- - Founder of "Dinner for One". Miss Sophie, in her younger years, had won several beauty contests in Godville and Herolympus, long before this world became famous. She still enourages her former admirers and lovers to take place at her tables. Now celebrating her 90th birthday, she is still the most beautiful 90 year old in this guild, and the dream of many a young hero as well. Miss Sophie does not fight in the arena, but has proven her worth in Skirmishes many times.
- - Famous Adventurer and Discoverer of Continents and Treasure Islands in his time. He was the one who slayed the infamous Lightsaber Toothed Tiger "Panthera Tigris" with his bare fist, the skin of which now graces the fireplace of the guild hall. Sir Toby died many years ago, and Butler James had to sit in for him, replacing him in any aspect, to the great pleasure of Miss Sophie. With the elevation of Godville to heavenly status, he was of course resurrected and can now, as the other heroes at the table, sit down with Miss Sophie again. James, however, still impersonates him when Sir Toby is out in the field.
- - Hero of the Sea Battle at Dogvillewood. The "Admiral", as his admirers often call him, was once the evil hero of the dark side that opposed the Godville Universe. When commanding the dark forces and battling against the armada of Godville, sinking one vessel after another, trying to conquer the "Island", he had a sudden revelation, which happened exactly as Godville's status was raised to "heavenly". The peninsula of Dogvillewood, where the battle took place, was of course destroyed during the fight, and it was Admiral von Schneider who then, riding his battle-prone dolphin, destroyed the forces of evil all by himself. He was resurrected and canonized soon after, and he is now one of the candidates to become Godville Regent.
- - Miss Sophie's most ardent lover, Mister Pommeroy, as he was called in the old days, never excelled in the martial arts. "I am a lover, not a fighter!" was coined by him, long before others. His courtship moved the royal court, and he was awarded lordship, since the Royals were short on words after the war. Second only to Sir Toby when it comes to drinking, he will finish what is on the table if you are not looking. Be aware!
- - Born in the now razed town of Venice, which was close to Tradeburgh, Mister Winterbottom grew up a Troubadour, tamer of wild horses, even headless ones, and, we must admit, as the most famous escort in Godville of his times. He met Miss Sophie in this capacity, and despite lavish tokens of gratitude, the two of them fell in love, and are up to the present the most ardent lovers in Godville. One might be tempted to call them Romeo and Juliet, were their names not Miss Sophie and Mister Winterbottom. Mister Winterbottom is also the only hero in Godville whose first name is not known. The initial he sometimes writes down, "A.", however, is known to stand for "Agamemnon". Like Miss Sophie, he died millenia ago, but was resurrected when Admiral von Schneider destroyed the Evil Fleet and Godville was raised to celestial status.
- - The only hero in Godville that can cook, keep his balance even when intoxicated, and replace four to five grown men in nuptial bliss. Raised in the outskirts of then very poor Beerburgh, Butler James had to learn to use whatever Nature left over for cooking and brewing, becoming the most inventive maitre d' and distiller in the known universe. Being hired as e-mailman by Miss Sophie in the early days, she soon discovered his qualities, of which we do not speak here. Since then, his status has risen beyond comparison, and he has earned several seven-star mentions in the Michelin d'Ville, which is actually edited in Deville (that is how the name came into being).
Ghosts of older famous heroes and heroines of Dinner for one
- - Grand Connoisseur de Godville, Exis is the expert of coffee and other drinks that get the alcohol out of the systems of the heroes. She is also an expert how to get it in. Now a Regent of "Dinner for One" she accepted the position of Master Chief of the kitchen (in the absence of Butler James). She already beams with grand ideas for new dishes.
- - With the motto "For SOMETHING SOMETHING" - Firerose and her heroine rosefire bring fear to monsters throughout the land! She has also brought a steely beauty to the guild hall and as a "Follower" of the Guild, has enthusiastically promoted our banquets!
- - The inventor of our famous *P.E.P.S.I.* drinks (which magically changes after each serving), as prepared by Butler James. Avgp, who sometimes does not show his head to the public, and his hero Hurrderphurr just like three things - party, fight, and have fun. Everyone seems to stand straighter when Avgp addresses the Diners. It may be his calming presence, or it may be his muscles.
- - The fighting girl of the guild. Dolores, who always carries around a nine-tailed whip and invites monster and opponent to strike her as hard as they can, is leading the guild's challenge for temple and gladiatorship alike. Many happy beatings, Dolores!
- - Godville's only mathematician who is also a model. She is famous for swallowing unknown drinks and waking up on bathroom floors, wearing nothing but equations. Our partygirl! But be aware, she kills those who don't love her. She would also like to color her hair rat's hair red.
- - The lightsaber toothed tiger that was killed and skinned by Sir Toby in ancient times. Being revived many times, Panthera now likes to lay low below the dinner table, and he just loves to let James stumble over her and spill the alcoholic drinks he is carrying into her gaping throat. Once in a while, he's out in the field making a special kill - beware.
- - This former bloodsucking parasitic vampire is now totally reformed: A new bloodsucking parasitic vampire! After a short bout as pirate, he is now back, collecting bricks for the guild. Should you meet him, offer him one, and wear a turtleneck.
- - Our totally chinked-out hero! We will hear more of him soon. Watch this space!
- - Be careful when meeting this powerful hero! Once he touches you, you turn into another HIM! And don't kiss his motto!
- - Yes, the infant Godville Regent is now also a member of the Guild! Still in his early days and learning the ropes of government, he has already managed riding horses. The days of the Administrator are counted!
- - One of the newest members of the guild. Quite a mysterious god OMEGAFURY is. He has been promoted to master rank in the guild for reasons unknown. All that is known about him is that he is quiet calm and collective but do not be fooled he can be a devestating force as well. Just as the name states OMEGA-FINAL FURY.
- - fame is growing! Watch this space!
Honorary mentions and Press clippings
From GODVILLE TIMES # 1574 Day 1821 g.e.
From #837 WEEKEND GODVILLE Day 1084 g.e.
From Weekend Goodville, No. 104 (issue of 335 g.e.):
HAVE YOUR PET NEUTERED! NEW SERVICE!
In recent days and weeks, lost and forlorn pets have started to become a nuisance in Godville and other towns. Morever, they start to replicate, reproduce, copy and clone themselves in any known and unknown way. Citizens of Godville now think that this is becoming too much!!
In a new initiative, Butler James has offered to neuter the pets of heroes. This also has the advantage that they do not hump heroes' legs anymore, climb into knapsacks or die of excitement. They become docile pets, while being aggressive when fighting enemies. They also make phantastic meals when they are dead, since they put on weight; however, they are less likely to die.
Butler James recommends to neuter to male pets first, in order to make short work of it. Pet owners who come for this service will also be offered a bowl of soup containing strong nourishments.
Where to find us
Besides its usual space in Godville, "Dinner for One" has recently extended its locations and size. Starting from the original six-seater table, dinner tables now extend to the city center of Godville and fill several new halls in the "Restaurant at the end of Godville", and from there out into the great outdoors. That makes it very convenient for heroes to get something to eat and drink when still in the fields; the "Dinner" can now be accessed from anywhere! Don't forget to bring your loot along ...
Catering is now also available on demand! Butler James, his Sous Chef, maitre de and his infamous Frying Dutchmen can now be hired for parties, celebrations, marriages, pet parties, temple inaugurations, funerals and fare-well parties! Just call 1-900-JAMES4HIRE!
Costs: Forbiddingly high, but affordable!
Requirements: Collect your road kills in advance!
References: Presently still drunk and not available for interviews.
Our greatest WISH
¡TO RULE THEM ALL!
What happened before
That will be disclosed in the future ...
Leaders through Time
|GOD Name||Start Term||End Term||High-level Rank|
The Last Dinner