Cult of the Sparkle Pony

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The origins of the Cult of the Sparkle Pony can be traced back to the beginning of recorded history, some 27,000 years before present time. Found in cave paintings and petroglyphs, the Cult left a record of a highly developed belief system. The early forms of the Cult displayed sophistication not seen among other cultures and is widely regarded among anthropologists as the first belief system to be shared among tribes.

The Cult is rooted in a Universe cosmology, regarded females as embued with mystic abilities (they served as shaman in prehistoric times); and regarded the Horse as a vessel of human to Greater Universe connection.

Conflicts between the Cult's tenets with the evolution of patriarchal religion drove the Cult of the Sparkle Pony underground, sometimes for extended periods. For example, during the development of the Mandatory Jumping Jack Religion, the Cult's matriarchal centered belief system was perceived as blasphemous and Cult members were often persecuted, tickled, dipped in honey and taken picnicking.

However, there are indications the Sparkle Pony cult had adherents even within emerging Jumping Jack theology and development of its doctrine. Recent evidence translated from the Sea Daddy Scrolls find contradictory references within the Book of Regurgitations (namely the Four Horsewomen of the Calypso Dance in The Scroll of Regga); and within The Scrolls of Community, citing the importance of women in everyday life (as evidenced by women serving in roles of religious ceremony and hierarchy), curiously omitted from texts of the Mandatory Jumping Jack Bible.

The Sea Daddy Scrolls also included description of Cult involvement in the inspection of the Body of Gary, following the Incredible Gay Conception (IGC). The Cult disputed the IGC as Divine, but those findings were not included in religious texts of later works.

Tenets of the Cult of the Sparkle Pony

Cruelty

Manipulation

Meaninglessness