Corporate Giant

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Strong Monsters of Godville
Corporate Giant
Corporatum gigas
Corporategiant.jpg
Strong Monster
Class Macrohumanoid
Habitat Stock markets, offices
Description Business savvy

Description

The Corporate Giant (Corporatum gigas) is a monster and one of the largest arms dealers in Godville--standing at a whopping 4 foot 1 inches tall and an astonishing 100 pounds.

The Corporate Giant wears only the most expensive clothes and uses the most expensive accessories. It can commonly be seen sporting a dragon skin suit with matching shoes (retail value: over 1,000,000 gold coins). Common accessories include a handlebar-mustache, a diamond studded cane, a monocle, and a pure gold top-hat.

The Corporate Giant climbed its way to the top of success by using a 2-foot tall step stool it got for its 18th birthday. Sneaky and very clever, it has many years of practice and knowledge, and enough money to do almost everything it wants. It is a very power-hungry, cunning and greedy creature.

Not being a fan of rival companies, the Corporate Giant sets out to kill and mock warriors who don't own its brand name manufactured products. It often hopes that by killing those heroes, the other company will get a bad reputation for making crappy and unreliable weapons and armor.

Fighting Technique

Common fighting techniques include belittling and pestering its opponents about what it calls "shoddy workmanship" and "completely useless equipment" that the opposing warrior has equipped during the battle. If the warrior is too strong, the corporate giant tries one of three methods:

  1. The first method is high pressure sales, it hopes that the warrior will change their mind about the battle and buy from its company. If that strategy works, while the warrior digs into their pockets looking for money, the corporate giant either tries to sneak away or attacks.
  2. The second method is a proposal of working for the corporate giant, often with promises of wealth beyond belief. If the hero falls for this plan, the Corporate Giant will pull out a contract for the hero to sign. While the hero is busy looking for a pen, the Corporate Giant will impose the same strategy of retreat or attack as the first method.
  3. The third method is a contract deal as a spokesperson for the corporate giant. Again if the warrior falls for this tactic the ultimate results are the same as one and two.

After winning a battle, the corporate giant can be seen rolling in its new found money while laughing with glee about its accomplishment. If the hero finds that the corporate giant is too strong of an opponent they can try tossing loose change at it, that can distract the monster long enough for them to get away--after all the Corporate Giant is one of the most greedy creatures in Godville.

Heroes have tried many different ways to get rid of the vile creature like striking and picketing the Corporate Giant, but in the end the only true way to get rid of the corporate giant is to not purchase its products. There have been rumors about a generous Corporate Giant seeking to better the world and shunning power, but none have ever been confirmed.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Able to call an army of paid workers on a moment's notice
  • Carefully plans its moves
  • Able to access a wealth of research very quickly

Weaknesses

  • Does not want to soil its expensive clothes
  • Gold coins easily distract it
  • Asking it to do its own dirty work
  • Very weak thumbs from constantly typing on its mobile phone 36 hours a day
  • Every action takes seven reviews and three forms of paperwork
  • Is constantly worried about shareholder approval

See Also

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Afrotheria Bald Mammoth • Hellaphant • Hellephant • Speed Sloth
Carnivora Nuclear Watchdog • Sandboxer • Tire Iron Lion
Euarchontoglires Adamant Atheist • Antihero • Bad Hobbit • Biological Nightmare • Boogie Woogie Man • Card-Carrying Villain • Chimpanzealot • Cliff Hanger • Criminal Master Mime • Cyber Punk • Damsel Distresser • Dotcommando • Enemy of the People • Epic Flailer • Evil Genius • Evil Twin • Feral Hero • Final Frontiersman • Full Metal Jackrabbit • Gaolkeeper • Godvillain • Gunboat Diplomat • Hanna-Barbarian • Hell's Bell-Ringer • Huggernaut • Ideaboxer • Industrial Revolutionary • Inedible Hulk • Inevitable Hulk • Jaw Broker • Leader of the Banned • Lip Smacker • Lost Viking • Master of Disaster • Monstrous Appetite • Nerd of Steel • Notary of Death • One-and-a-Halfling • Panic Attacker • Post-Mortem Artist • Principal of Darkness • Question Marksman • Registered Hex Offender • Sans Sheriff • Shooting Tsar • Sumo Ninja • Time Consumer • Undermaker • Warrior of Attrition • Whambulance Driver
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Mechanica Enforcement Droid 209 • Exo-Skeleton • Giant-Shaped Windmill • Ice Borg • Ideabox Guardian • Nuclear Overreactor • Sawed-off Shogun • Sir Render • Synthetic Organism • Terminator T-34 • Tower Defender
Mythica Angel of Death Metal • Angel of Debt • Bulletproof Pest • Cantankerous Chimaera • Continental Drifter • Corporate Giant • Deer God • Devil Wearing Nada • Dust Devil • Electric Orc Welder • Game Overlord • Gas Giant • Gnomebreaker • Godville Administrator • Grammatical Terror • Great Caesar's Ghost • Great Divider • Hall Minotaur • Hellevator Operator • Holykeeper • Mind Boggler • Monster of Ceremonies • Motor Cyclops • Motorcyclops • Nature's Wraith • Non-Terminal Repeating Phantasm • Paladjinn • Romanticore • Sabertooth Fairy • Secret Satan • Security Chimera • Semi-Demi-God • Shock Therapist • Software Giant • Syntax Terror • Tentacula • Thundertaker • Traumaturge • Witch Hiker
Plantae Ent of the World • Fire Ent • Nuclear-Powered Plant
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Ungulata Alpha Whale • Great Bull of Fire • Great Wight Shark • Hypnopotamus • Lava Lamb • Lightning Colt • Ne'er-do-Whale • Wrecking Bull