Clinical strike

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Skills of Godville
Clinical strike
scalpel.jpg
You'll need one or more of these...
Type ⚔️Combat
Description Deadly and precise.

The Clinical strike is hard to perform but a useful skill for a hero to know. It cuts deep into the fleshy bits of an enemy and is especially useful for performing dissection demonstrations to a live audience.

One of the first warning signs of coming up against a master of this skill is seeing them not armed with the usual notched sword, but rather many small knives, clamps and possibly a bottle of ether. Now would be a good time to run, before that is no longer an option - generally due to lack of heart, spleen and pancreas.

More than one Hero in the arena has suddenly found themselves gasping for breath, only to realize that they no longer have lungs. This also results in their screams being somewhat muffled and lacking force - and rather bubbly too. But we digress...

Those who wish to learn this skill are advised to haunt their local mortuary and to study under a renown embalmer as these fellows are usually rather lonesome and eager to talk and pass on their skills with sharp knives.


How to perform

Step 1

Sterilize the patient by squirting iodine solution over the area where you plan to operate. If one lacks iodine in the field, urine is also sterile and contains a good percentage of alcohol in most heros. Ready the tools.

Step 2

Taking the #11 Scalpel, make a major lateral incision across the chest of the enemy. If you haven't already put the patient on anaesthetics, don't bother; after all, the patient is the enemy.

Step 3

Take a hammer and break the patient's ribs, very subtly though. Lift them away to reveal the heart and at least attempt to remove any splinters of rib that have punctured the lungs (don't be harsh). Don't worry about the lungs; the next step is quick anyway.

Step 4

Take a common kitchen knife and plunge it in to the heart around the region of the right ventricle. You may now chant some psalms to Jupiter before proceeding to inspect the patient's entrails in order to make a prediction about the future. Now make sure there are at least twelve vultures in the sky before chanting some Etruscan prayers (the usual ones that every Haruspex knows, don't try anything too fancy). Now, to honour Quetzlcoatlus, you can chuck the corpse down the steps of your temple (you did perform all of this on top of a certified Aztec temple, right?).

Step 5

Lick the blood from the ground. This step is purely optional, but recommended for the intimidation factor.