Chocolate Moose

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Monsters of Godville
Chocolate Moose
Alces dulcifer
Chocolate Moose.jpg
Class Dessert
Habitat Moose Afterlife, merry parties
Description Moose mousse

The Chocolate Moose (Alces dulcifer "moose sweet-bringer") is a Monster made of chocolate mousse. It is created by a Moosenger of Death, then given life by Moose God. Its sole purpose of creation is to sweeten the Moosenger of Death's life. It has a sweet, cheerful, gregarious nature and not at all dangerous, except for the diabetes it might cause. The hero or heroine might initially want to eat it but its excellent communication will cause the hero or heroine to forget soon. Unless, the Moosenger of Death is busy reaping moose-lives and the Chocolate Moose started to become violent from identity crisis. Occasionally, a hero or heroine slaughtered the Moosenger of Death that created a Chocolate Moose, causing the Chocolate Moose to be a psychotic vengeful monster that has lost all hope and purpose in life.

Creation

Later stage of Chocolate Moose creation.

One day, a duty-free Moosenger of Death (not its fault, The Moose God takes care of Its creations well through the passing of Endangered Species Act Protection for Moose[1]) was taking a walk. It could not work, so the least it can do was walk around in awe and fervent praise of the world that the Moose God created. Suddenly, a Monster (for moosekind, it was actually a hero) came out of nowhere and attacked the Moosenger of Death. The Moosenger of Death fought back valiantly, and soon the hero was cornered. As last resort, he threw his snack at the Moosenger of Death. It was a chocolate mousse.

Everything changed when the chocolate mousse landed on the mouth of The Moosenger of Death.

It knew that this was a revelation. A blessing from the Moose God to soothe their anxious souls during deathless time. The Moosenger of Deaths has massive admiration of the humankind ever since. For a while, The Moosenger of Death can finally sit around and relax while eating chocolate mousse when they're not working. Their diligent nature, however, turned their supposed free time munching chocolate into time spent in the heaven kitchen honing chocolate mousse-baking skill. They lack imagination from millennia of monotone act of service, though, and ultimately, each of them all began to make a moose-shaped chocolate mousse. They spent so much effort and time into making the perfect moose mousse that when their masterpiece was done, they didn't want to eat it.

The heaven kitchen was filled with chocolate moose, causing less heavenly experience for resident good moose-souls. The lawful Moosenger of Deaths would not eat any other chocolate without eating their first finished moose mousse, therefore no longer had anything to do and became unhappy again. Finally, all were resolved with a miracle by The Wise Moose God - It breathed life into all finished chocolate moose. The Chocolate Moose was created.

Behaviour

With Moosenger of Death

A chunk of Chocolate Moose with cherry blood.

The Chocolate Moose is hippie and sweet, complete complement for the emo, formal Moosenger of Death (with minor tweaks in personality to accommodate different individuals - which is not much). It brings life into times of no death in Moosenger of Death's life of deaths.

Intimate acts include a Moosenger of Death eating a chunk of the Chocolate Moose. This is followed by Moosenger of Death fixing a freshly cooked mousse to the bitten part, thus completing mutual renewal. A hero or heroine that sees this will instinctively blush and leave the scene after losing a good several health points out of embarrassment even if he or she does not understand what happened.

If the hero or heroine sees the pair together, that would mean no moose is dying in the realm.

Without Moosenger of Death

Sans its calm and controlled half, the Chocolate Moose is an uninhibited party animal who brings burst of energy to every crowd, being extremely sweet and rich in flavor towards everyone around it. They often indulge in wild parties hosted by Significant Otter, one after another. If this goes on for too long, imbalance in its personality causes too much anxiety that will turn into unprovoked violence accompanied by loud fat-shaming even towards the skinniest stick. This actually stemmed from the feeling of guilt for excess calories they might, or could, have caused others.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Sweet and non-dangerous looking
  • Can not feel pain and will shove down antler or other body part down the hero or heroine's throat, causing diabetes or choking
  • Excellent social skills, including bullshitting their way out of a bad situation or throwing paradoxical questions that cause the hero or heroine to hurt themselves by too much thinking
  • Can add a limb or other functioning body part by merging new chocolate mousse to itself
  • The most delicious chocolate mousse ever that doesn't get moldy, cannot go old

Weaknesses

  • Melts under temperature too high
  • Can not feel pain, therefore doesn't realize if the hero or heroine had bitten off a part of it
  • Life purpose depends on the Moosenger of Death that created it, prone to identity crisis
  • Gets lonely easily
  • Loves to party way too much


Footnote

  1. The Moose Ultimatum (1500 g.e.) The Moose God threatened war against Human Gods. Knowing the Moose God's servants are fanatics, the Human Gods feared moose legitimacy over mankind and did divine intervention to pass the law in the entire realm.