Chimpanzealot

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Monsters of Godville
Chimpanzealot
ruemorgue.jpg
Class Ape
Habitat Old abandoned nuclear reactors.
Description A former chimp, forever changed by a meltdown of its neighborhood nuclear reactor.

The Chimpanzealot (Tritum simia) is a monster that used to be a normal chimpanzee, before it got trapped in a nuclear plant during a rather clichéd radioactive explosion. Upon contact with the immense yet trite and predictable waves of radioactivity, the innocent chimp was forever transformed into the Chimpanzealot. They are known to carry liberal amounts of gold, and for some reason, though nobody really knows why, they have an odd fondness for deep space heaters. Because most Chimpanzealots were chimps in their previous lives, they can usually be pacified with an offering of bananas, or whatever fruits a resourceful hero can find lying around.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Can shoot radioactive lasers out of their eyes
  • Very strong
  • Are also very fast, so running is usually pointless

Weaknesses

  • Deep space heaters
  • Bananas
  • The tendency to ramble on and on about how life would be if it were a regular chimp
  • Very sensitive about its past and how it's such a huge cliché.

Diary Entries

!Hero's Diary
02:02

Jumped for joy on the body of the dead Chimpanzealot. To my surprise a deep space heater and 107 gold coins popped out. Nice.

01:45: Fled from the Chimpanzealot before it could mock me again.

05:08 AM The Enlightened Chimpanzealot was subjected to a spiritual cleansing through sacrifice. To the glory of thee, my Lord!