Centuria

From GodWiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Centuria
CenturiabyJed.jpg
Champion of the God: Mommitude
Personality: Kind
Gender: Female
Level: 93
Motto: ♡Hugs & much love!®♡
Guild: Hug Central
Guild Rank: Matriarch
Guild Position: Free Hugs! Booth Staffer & Occasional Party Planner
Temple Completion Date: 06/10/2013
Pet Type: dreaded gazebo
Pet Name: Pumba
Pet Level: 29


Centuria

COPYRIGHT NOTICE

Centuria's name was once used without her permission as the cover art for a heavy-metal band featured on a foreign-speaking website. The band produced only one album and then filed a copyright dispute, asking the judge to force Centuria to change her name. However; upon showing her birth certificate to the judge she was able to prove she existed first and the band was court ordered to disband based on this information. It was later discovered the band members had all forgotten their towels at home and did not know the answer to life, the universe, and everything was actually 42.

The picture of Centuria in her Godville uniform (and matching bionic legs) was used with special permission provided by the author J.S. Tarkowski.

Hero's Chronicles

Centuria has been around since the days of text adventure games playing in MUDs. She was named for the fact that she is an "old soul", with memories of things that happened over a century ago.

She used to run a huge boarding home for homeless heroes in the days when inns could be full and heroes might have to sneak into a stable, barn, or manger for a dry place to stay for the night. This was many years before guild halls with bedrooms were a "thing". Everyone was welcome and could stay for free in exchange for a hug, or a referral from a friend (if hugging wasn't in their nature).

She was trained in minor injury healing techniques and practiced for ages on various guild members for free. She eventually graduated to rare diseases, serious wound care, and even hospice comfort measures. She has literally held hands with people whose time has come as they passed away and been able to hug others who she later discovered made a full recovery to the surprise of educated physicians. She enjoyed doing the various tasks for free of charge (in exchange for hugs or donations to support her boarding home).

She would often sneak to the starting area at the haunted house to hide in the shadows and throw heals at newbies just before they passed out, many of whom would be none the wiser about whom had helped them. Eventually though, an update patch made the prices of the various items used in healing too expensive for newbies to afford and she was one of the only people offering the service for free. Then, the next update patch changed the steps entirely making healing even more complicated and expensive basically forcing her into another profession. This was many, many years before animals could be trained and kept in small, red spheres to be called upon in battle later to protect the very person holding them captive.

Centuria grew up in a land where playing characters was just something you did, and staying in character was more important than just about anything else. Some things every hero knew, and these things were called common sense or "newbie skills". If a high-ranking player told you something, you shared it with everyone in your circle - so that no one missed out on something good, nor were they as upset about something bad that only someone called "Admin" controlled. It's just the way things were. If someone in the guild knew something, you were all told about it so you knew about it. Period. If it was documented, it happened and if it was not recorded then it didn't. Negative assumptions about motives was mostly by people who were just generally being jerks. Evil intentions did not exist, unless they were stated outright. She lived in a time where including someone in something you were doing was bonding, and asking first was silly because it was considered rude to leave them out. People usually feel lonely and upset, some even get offended when you do something fun and forget to ask if they want to come. Friends appreciated being invited to whatever you were doing. A time where pleasant surprises were enjoyed, instead of being questioned about what you are expecting in return. She misses the simpler times.

She has a particularly gentle nature, and never deliberately hurts anyone or anything - unless it is a monster that is trying to kill her. In which case; she believes the best defense is a good offense or at least a decent exit strategy.

Centuria Christian is happily married to fellow hero and adventurer Spencer Christian. They were joined in a private ceremony, followed by a glorious Godville "tour of the towns". They took turns spending all of their savings to buy a round of drinks for everyone who happened to be at each bar they stopped into. They were celebrating only having to use 100 accumulator charges worth of voice commands each in order to get both heroes to the same place at the same time for the same reason for more than five minutes. These heroes are more often than not seen in seperate guilds, though, since they used up their accumulator charges to accomplish their marriage.

Centuria is the first hero in Godville to have a physical disability. She takes it very personally when people make fun of anyone who is "differently-abled" and is an advocate for all heroes' equal rights to play, fight, and ignore voice commands. As you can see in her photos for sponsor Arizona AFO's ; she wears custom-made, articulated Ankle Foot Orthosis (AFOs) due to Charcot-Marie Tooth. They make her bionic, but she is still physically able to make a mountain out of a mole hill in terms of the time it takes her to climb it. They make stairs very hard for her and she mostly has learned to adapt by avoiding them so she doesn't have to think about this limitation too much.

Centuria loves adding other heroes as friends or vise-versa. She tends to use invites to add other heroes as friends with anyone she encounters and records in her diary. She loves saving up invites just in case this happens, as she likes to send the diary entry for said hero to him or her as a friendly way of saying "hello!!". She takes care to try to send at least an initial hello message to each of them at some point in time as soon as she discovers they are officially her friend, and tries to send them a HUG! at some point in the conversation that is hopefully not too early to be awkward or appear stalker-ish. Any and all real tips on how to obtain invites are always appreciated.

Centuria's motto "HUGS!" is a way of life for her and has always been the word "HUGS!" in various formats including all capital letters, all lower case, none whatsoever, or some combination thereof. The exception tends to come during her actual birthday, at which time she typically will go around telling everyone *happy birthday", but she figures she is just getting a head start on birthday wishes instead of sending actual birthday cards since she can never seem to find one in the shops.

Giving out actual physical hugs for Centuria is like a handshake when first meeting someone - except friendlier. She has a tendency of actually physically hugging any hero who wanders close enough for her to do so, versus the usual greeting of a hand-shake, as a friendly gesture of kindness and in memory of her beloved nephew, "TyeDye". She is able to make you remind you that she is your friend and truly cares about you and is even willing to spend some asci-shaped coins on you in the tavern once in awhile to prove it. She greets friends and strangers alike with her motto *HUGS*!

Centuria entered her name as a registered trademark and has copyrighted and trademarked her motto *♡ Hugs!!!™ ♡'* with legally binding, notarized documents on file at the Godville Administration Courthouse. Please be reminded: anyone seeking a personal copy must complete and complete a minimum seven page double-spaced, typed essay in the standard Godville Officiating Documents format, using any font under the Calligraphy category only, using the required maximum of 14 point font size, on any hug-related topic of the writer's choice. This essay must be submitted along with the request application form - completed in triplicate form - with the nominal fee of a personal hug to Centuria as required payment prior to the dissemination of proof of copyright or trademark, at which time she will sign off that payment has been made in full. Turn around time is approximately the time it takes to become a prophet in your guild.

Centuria had once seriously considered starting her own hug-friendly guild, but she could not decide on a name and real life had other plans, as her nephew died too young. She stepped away from Godville for awhile to spend some much needed time with her family. Once she had finally come back to Godville (having decided to officially start a hug-friendly guild in honor of her nephew); she did a search only to find that Hug Central had already been created by her friend *Brinjal*, so she joined it instead. She also has a tendency to chronicle hug-specific diary entries. Please feel free to message her with any you see she has not included. Thank you & *hugs!!*

Centuria's Friends List (Alphabetical Order)

Please let me know if you choose not to be included in this list. The following heroes were added because they have been mentioned in Centuria's diary, fought her in the arena, been in a guild she was in at some point, chatted with her on the forums, been selected as the person to be added as her friend through a friendship bracelet or similar item, or added her through the use of a similar item. Please note that Centuria makes an ongoing point to send EACH and EVERY friend a message on holidays and special occasions. This list is a work in progress...

Aliciar2 https://godvillegame.com/gods/Aliciar2

All Powerful Brian https://godvillegame.com/gods/All%20Powerful%20Brian

Angel of the storm http://godvillegame.com/gods/Angel%20of%20the%20storm

Aranyanii http://godvillegame.com/gods/Aranyanii

Artsonian https://godvillegame.com/gods/Artsonian

Athena20 http://godvillegame.com/gods/Athena20

A-tuin http://godvillegame.com/gods/A-tuin-

Augnoramous https://godvillegame.com/gods/Augnoramous

Baby Ames http://godvillegame.com/gods/BabyAmes

Belevorn http://godvillegame.com/gods/Belevorn

Bellaouthena http://godvillegame.com/gods/Bellaouthena

Bellatrixie The Strange https://godvillegame.com/gods/Bellatrixie%20The%20Strange

Bezo93 https://godvillegame.com/gods/Bezo93

Brinjal https://godvillegame.com/gods/Brinjal

Bryan McCoskey http://godvillegame.com/gods/Bryan%20McCoskey

Captain Tofu http://godvillegame.com/gods/Captain%20Tofu

Cheveyo https://godvillegame.com/gods/Cheveyo

Cyana https://godvillegame.com/gods/Cyana

Dadditude http://godvillegame.com/gods/Dadditude

Danbudy http://godvillegame.com/gods/Danbudy

DarkAbysswalker http://godvillegame.com/gods/DarkAbysswalker

Dellborg8205 https://godvillegame.com/gods/Dellborg8205

Deus X Machina http://godvillegame.com/gods/Deus%20X%20Machina

Dr-Pepper https://godvillegame.com/gods/Dr-Pepper

Dusk2Dawn https://godvillegame.com/gods/Dusk2Dawn

Genevra https://godvillegame.com/gods/Genevra

God2000 https://godvillegame.com/gods/God2000

Godess Phoenix https://godvillegame.com/gods/Godess%20Phoenix

Grandour https://godvillegame.com/gods/Grandour

Hairplug4men https://godvillegame.com/gods/Hairplug4men

Harley75 https://godvillegame.com/gods/Harley75

Hyperion https://godvillegame.com/gods/Hyperion

Iduna https://godvillegame.com/gods/Iduna

Itabit https://godvillegame.com/gods/Itabit

Jeeves-us http://godvillegame.com/gods/Jeeves-us

Jelloegg https://godvillegame.com/gods/Jelloegg

Jenna Granston https://godvillegame.com/gods/Jenna%20Granston

Jonah Sage https://godvillegame.com/gods/Jonah%20Sage

KarmaKoala https://godvillegame.com/gods/KarmaKoala

Kaydensnana https://godvillegame.com/gods/Kaydensnana

Kingdada https://godvillegame.com/gods/Kingdada

Krox https://godvillegame.com/gods/Krox

Lei Shen https://godvillegame.com/gods/Lei%20Shen

LibMarie http://godvillegame.com/gods/LibMarie

LikeaBoss https://godvillegame.com/gods/LikeaBoss

Lubdhak https://godvillegame.com/gods/Lubdhak

Malice Red http://godvillegame.com/gods/Malice%20Red

Menalos The Bewilder http://godvillegame.com/gods/Menelaos%20The%20Bewilder

Metafysicalman http://godvillegame.com/gods/Metafysicalman

Morgan2103 http://godvillegame.com/gods/Morgan2013

Morta https://godvillegame.com/gods/Morta

Mummsy http://godvillegame.com/gods/Mummsy

My Creation http://godvillegame.com/gods/My%20Creation

Myqpalzm http://godvillegame.com/gods/Myqpalzm

Nedster http://godvillegame.com/gods/Nedster

OmniaMagnaetquia http://godvillegame.com/gods/OmniaMagnaetquia

Oresaba https://godvillegame.com/gods/Oresaba

Ozzie Good https://godvillegame.com/gods/Ozzie%20Good

Pancake Baron https://godvillegame.com/gods/Pancake%20Baron

Polaroidwords https://godvillegame.com/gods/Polaroidwords

Purumpo http://godvillegame.com/gods/Purumpo

Reconist http://godvillegame.com/gods/Reconist

Roargle https://godvillegame.com/gods/Roargle

Rugby Jesus http://godvillegame.com/gods/Rugby%20Jesus

Runesansu http://godvillegame.com/gods/Runesansu

Shanny-cakes https://godvillegame.com/gods/Shanny-cakes

Shtex https://godvillegame.com/gods/Shtex

Silly-one4u https://godvillegame.com/gods/Silly-one4u

Snivywivy https://godvillegame.com/gods/Snivywivy

Spode https://godvillegame.com/gods/Spode

Squallsquall https://godvillegame.com/gods/Squallsquall

StarDancer https://godvillegame.com/gods/StarDancer

Stealtheh https://godvillegame.com/gods/Stealtheh

Stickyorder https://godvillegame.com/gods/Stickyorder

Streakerton https://godvillegame.com/gods/Streakerton

Tebzeric https://godvillegame.com/gods/Tebzeric

Terallion https://godvillegame.com/gods/Terallion

The m1ghty https://godvillegame.com/gods/The%20m1ghty

The Mighty Stang https://godvillegame.com/gods/The%20Mighty%20Stang

The Rob https://godvillegame.com/gods/The%20Rob

Thorbjoern https://godvillegame.com/gods/Thorbjoern

Tom312 https://godvillegame.com/gods/Tom312

Uniloki https://godvillegame.com/gods/Unloki

Veezy http://godvillegame.com/gods/Veezy

Wec25 https://godvillegame.com/gods/Wec25

Yofi https://godvillegame.com/gods/Yofi

Yuki no Megami https://godvillegame.com/gods/Yuki%20no%20Megami

Zedland https://godvillegame.com/gods/Zedland

Random diary entries from Centuria (and her friends):

04/21/18 09:09 AM Saw BuzzdLytBeer running from a Firebreathing Dragoon while I was fleeing from the Great Caesar’s Ghost. We joined forces and bravely fled together.

04/19/18 05:20 AM Oooohhhh! Now I get it. Hehehe. That was a funny joke Messi20 told me yesterday.

04/15/18 11:21 AM With its last breath, the defeated Peace Corpse coughed up Cruella Devill and died. She looked a little shaken up, but handed me a “Your deity loves you!” poster and 16 coins she found in its belly as a thank you for saving her.

04/15/18 05:52 AM Hello, my Lady. This is Centuria Christian calling to ask for your help. Please let me introduce this special offer of 7 gold coins.

04/14/18 01:00 AM Ran into Wolfiepup and noticed that he also has a piece of string tied around his finger. Did we make a pact?

04/13/18 07:21 PM Ran into Lady Door. She distracted the monster with some magic tricks, giving me time for a quick prayer.

04/13/18 07:21 PM BlueStapler jumped in front of me and yelled, “Interception!” as the healing ray descended from the heavens. Please try it again, my Lady, he’s gone now!

04/04/18 18:39 Met Centuria Christian and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health. (Arona Almighty)

04/01/18 06:16 AM Walked up to a nearby Worthy Opponent and in a conspiratorial voice whispered: “♡ ®!evol hcum & sguH ♡”. The monster went pale with fear and ran away, leaving behind a bag of gold coins.

04/01/18 06:15 AM ¡noʎ ʎouuɐ oʇ ʇsnɾ uʍop ǝp!sdn ʎɹʇuǝ s!ɥʇ ǝʇoɹʍ I ’ʎʇɥƃ!ɯl∀ ʎǝH

03/30/18 06:44 AM Climbed a tree to avoid the File Executioner. Met Toresh avoiding his own problems.

03/28/18 23:29 Yelled “Warm hugs!! :3 ❤” into the night. Paid 812 gold coins as a compensation for waking half the town.(Pandarius Pandaren)

03/25/18 22:51 Met Centuria Christian today. We traded stories of our death experiences. It’s amazing how many ways a hero can die. (Nogrorikam)

03/14/18 Named second place in the Open Bar guild St. Patrick’s Day Karaoke singing contest.

03/11/18 03:43 AM Are you there, Almighty? It’s me, Centuria Christian. I was just wondering if you could make something new happen. I’m bored.

03/10/18 04:55 AM Met Bertha Tuton and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.

03/08/18 07:48 Ran into Centuria Christian. I must remember to look where I’m going when I’m heroically retreating from a battle.

03/04/18 08:59 AM Jumped out to ambush a passing Tenacious Bee, which turned out to be Stevaloid in some outlandish armor! We had a good laugh about it, and I managed not to tell him how silly he looked. (Pippypie)

02/28/18 15:40 Centuria Christian gave me a potent placebo for my hypochondria. At last, someone takes me seriously! (Shadow Sloth)

02/28/18 08:37 AM While the enemy was taking a time-out, Centuria Christian helped me cleanse my wounds and fed me some deliciously fresh buns. (Cassia Rainsonne)

02/26/18 12:01 AM Saw Dathon lying in the field, quivering, shaking and looking close to death. I knew exactly what to do! One beer later, and my friend was up and good to go.

02/25/18 08:52 AM Met The Drifter. Borrowed some food and a few bottles of healing water. Feeling much better now.

02/25/18 08:48 AM Saw my old friend Hellhur Reed snoozing by the side of the road. I quickly drew a silly mustache on his face and ran off giggling, but then felt bad, returned, and left 128 gold coins in his pocket to compensate for my poor drawing skills.

02/24/18 09:33 AM Met Justin112 and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.

02/24/18 09:23 AM Velfox took the monster aside, giving me plenty of time to get away. Don’t worry Hydracula, I’ll get you next time!

02/23/18 11:50 Hugged a tree. It felt good, but I don’t think the relationship’s going anywhere. (Brinjal)

02/19/18 15:41 Centuria Christian told me that the best way to avoid a post-binge hangover is to never stop drinking. Genius! Should have thought of that myself. (Nogrorikam)

02/17/18 Named first place winner in the Open Bar guild Valentine’s Day Karaoke singing contest, Wyvern won 2nd place and Cassia won 3rd.

02/17/18 03:26 PM Gerald the Drunkard gave me a potent placebo for my hypochondria. At last, someone takes me seriously!

02/16/18 08:25 PM Met Evangelione and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.

2/14/18 07:38 PM Met Yambag resting by the wayside and borrowed his diary to read. The writing is so similar… We’re obviously soulmates.

2/06/18 07:58 PM Sometimes I think about Gratch, but most of the time I don’t.

2/06/18 10:48 PM With its last breath, the defeated Evangelical Atheist coughed up Centuria Christian and died. She looked a little shaken up, but handed me a sign of peace and 8 gold coins she found in its belly as a thank you for saving her. (Derelict Red)

1/29/18 10:38 Met Centuria Christian and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health. (Kyta S Indigo)

01/27/18 08:38 PM Met up with Mighty Klaus who showed me some weapon tips.

01/26/18 09:42 PM Lailah gave me a potent placebo for my hypochondria. At last, someone takes me seriously!

01/24/18 10:18 PM Met Herald the Hero and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.

01/21/18 22:50 Saw Centuria Christian running from a Styrofoam Cop while I was fleeing from the Whippersnapper. We joined forces and bravely fled together. (Lady Ruthless)

01/21/18 07:41 Passed Alixxia on the road. She said I was going the wrong way. Like she knows where I’m going!

01/14/18 09:28 PM Sent a homing pigeon with an elbow room generator attached to it for Gary-Sue. Just passed by an Evil Overlord roasting a pigeon…

01/12/18 08:38 PM Stealthily followed Lady Door to see if she knew a secret shortcut, but she just seemed to walk in circles. Eventually I caught up to her and asked what she’d been doing, and she sheepishly admitted she’d been following me, looking for a secret shortcut…

01/06/18 04:46 AM Met Foppel as we were walking from milestone to milestone. He worships a false god, but otherwise seems to be a decent sort of chap. I shall pray for his soul.

12/31/17 10:33 PM The guild psychiatrist giving the Rorschach test thinks I’m weird. What a hypocrite! He’s the one painting pictures of Rephi performing strange acts with a brainstorm forecast!

12/25/17 07:22 AM Rescued Nennekin from the bottom of a deep well. Apparently he was on a quest to build a chimney but had managed to get the plans upside-down.

12/24/17 11:05 PM Met Words today. We traded stories of our death experiences. It’s amazing how many ways a heroine can die.

12/13/17 09:48 PM Met Nemesis – and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.

12/12/17 06:58 PM Met up with Somn and challenged her to see who could kick a wasp’s nest the furthest. We both lost.

12/12/17 06:55 PM YoRHa No-2 Type B saw me planting some bird seeds. She said it was cuckoo, but I’m hoping for canaries just like the picture shows on the bag.

12/08/17 03:23 PM Sent a homing pigeon with a web browser attached to it for Vetryanka. Just passed by a Sir Caustic roasting a pigeon…

12/02/17 03:15 PM Couldn’t walk past the “Kleptomart” shop without stopping. Who is the owner here? Kaylfang? I read about her in the pantheons yesterday!

11/26/17 Centuria ranked in the top 40 of Godville Times Bingo (am edition).

11/26/17 :) 07:53 PM Saw a really cool item at a great price, but Centuria Christian wanted it too, so I let her buy it instead. (Augnoramous).

11/25/17 12:58 AM What a surprise! Hymulus stopped by to visit me. We chatted over a few drinks of healing potions.

11/25/17 12:48 AM Momzilla gave me a potent placebo for my hypochondria. At last, someone takes me seriously!

11/24/17 Finally reached Saint, 1st rank for encouraging my hero 10,000 times. Took over seven years of game play and 250 charges spent over the course of the last month alone.

11/21/17 11:04 PM Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest and met Pippee there. Drank from mugs to celebrate the lucky meeting and smoked a peace-pipe. Lost track of time.

11/16/17 23:59 I saw Centuria Christian completing the crossword. On closer inspection she’d just written “Stop messing around and get a wepon” in the boxes. Some people really need to get out more. (Shadow Sloth).

11/15/17 02:47 PM Hey, this is our Chesthugger! Sacrificed some bad fanfiction to our totem beast and was granted the protection of an aura of totemism.

11/14/17 09:59 Met Centuria Christian outside the hospital with a broken arm. Signed her cast with “Mathematical!!!”. (Lady Ruthless).

11/11/17 04:33 PM Great One, I know you are the one, true and only goddess and all other gods and goddesses are an anathema to you. But Aster Esmeralda’s “false” deity seems to heal her a lot more and punish her a lot less than you do. Just saying.

11/09/17 04:30 AM Heredos ran out of the bushes shouting, “Centuria Christian, I’m coming!” but proceeded to trip and roll head over heels into a gully. Well, you know what they say — if you want something done right, do it yourself.

11/07/17 08:17 A mystic showed me the footsteps in the sand of my life’s journey. I asked him why there were two sets of tracks during happy times but only one set of footprints during tough times. He told me that it was when you’d been using Pure ZPG mode.

11/06/17 08:12 PM Justin112 ran out of the bushes shouting, “Centuria Christian, I’m coming!” but proceeded to trip and roll head over heels into a gully. Well, you know what they say — if you want something done right, do it yourself.

11/05/17 09:54 PM The doctor was running late, so Lailah and I discussed our ailments while waiting. Our symptoms are so similar!

11/04/17 03:35 PM Met Pennye Blossom during a rest by the wayside and borrowed her diary to read. The writing is so similar… We’re obviously soulmates.

11/01/17 06:33 Met Centuria Christian and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health. (Ursina)

10/24/17 11:40 PM Saw a really cool item at a great price, but Centuria Christian wanted it too, so I let her buy it instead. (Augnoramous)

10/18/17 07:51 PM Kaylfang charges 340 gold coins admission fee for her “Kleptomart” shop and gives a free lottery ticket. Today that ticket won me one log for the ark!

10/10/17 08:40 PM A majestic angel descended and started stitching up Hang Abel nearby. I’m really glad he survived, Great One, but what about me?

10/08/17 21:45 Met Centuria Christian outside the hospital with a broken arm. Signed her cast with “Mathematical!!!”. (Lady Ruthless)

10/06/17 05/10/17 09:48 AM With its last breath, the defeated Rockin’ Troll coughed up Pinkie Wec and died. She looked a little shaken up, but handed me a chunk of concrete evidence and 37 gold coins she found in its belly as a thank you for saving her.

10/04/17 11:20 PM As it died, the Spice Ghoul whispered, “Darn you, Centuria Christian!” Still got a hell pass and 34 coins though.

10/02/17 07:59 PM Couldn’t walk past the “Kleptomart” shop without stopping. Who is the owner here? Kaylfang? I read about her in the pantheons yesterday!

09/27/17 11:02 Met Centuria Christian. Borrowed some food and a few bottles of healing water. Feeling much better now. (Lady Ruthless)

09/26/17 07:31 PM Found Pinkie Wec stranded at the bottom of a bear trap. Carefully avoided jumping into the trap myself, and instead fell into a nearby pit while looking for assistance.

09/20/17 10:37 Saw Centuria Christian lying in the field, quivering, shaking and looking close to death. I knew exactly what to do! One beer later, and my friend was up and good to go. (Shadow Sloth)

09/13/17 05:02 With its last breath, the defeated Supersonic Woodpecker coughed up Centuria Christian and died. She looked a little shaken up, but handed me a token of gratitude and 41 coins she found in its belly as a thank you for saving her. (Shadow Sloth)

08/24/17 09:20 PM Met up with Lailah and challenged her to see who could kick a wasp’s nest the furthest. We both lost.

08/23/17 10:14 PM I can never understand these roadside historical markers. Who is Ye Yue of The Field of Special Magic, and why should I care that she died here?

08/22/17 07:59 PM I can never understand these roadside historical markers. Who is Kofa of Silly Cone Valley, and why should I care that he died here?

08/21/17 10:47 PM The doctor was running late, so Centuria Christian and I discussed our ailments while waiting. Our symptoms are so similar! (Augnoramous)

08/19/17 04:13 PM They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay with a hug?

08/19/17 06:03 AM Met Toresh in the shop looking for a purchase. He gave me some tips on how to dress. Apparently I look much better with this new neighborhood watch!

08/18/17 05:57 AM Dadamighty charges 278 coins admission fee for his “Bricks and Mortar” shop and gives a free lottery ticket. Today that ticket won me one log for the ark!

08/04/17 00:22 While the enemy was taking a time-out, Centuria Christian helped me cleanse my wounds and fed me some deliciously fresh buns. (Yofi)

08/01/17 06:02 PM Saw a really cool item at a great price, but Dumb Bill wanted it too, so I let him buy it instead.

07/28/17 06:06 PM A merchant got mad after Cuddles started chewing on some of his merchandise. He told me that the only way to pay him back for the damages is to sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries. That seems reasonable.

07/19/17 07:48 PM Met Centuria Christian and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health. (Augnoramous)

07/12/17 07:31 PM Good old Konekomaru took a look at my taxes and saved me 332 coins. I never knew pet treats and beer were justifiable business expenses.

07/08/17 06:38 PM Krenix told me that even the most stingy traders would bite at the chaos engine. If that’s true, the fish will bite for sure.

07/01/17 Featured for the very first in the Godville Times! Centuria Christian – 88th-level adventurer, member of the “Hug Central” guild, with the motto “♡Hugs & much love!®♡”, stands at the 20th position in the pantheon of storytellers under the vigilant supervision of the goddess Mommitude. Her worst enemy – a Zy Goat. Favorite trophy – something that looks like a speeding ticket. She is also a huge fan of Los Adminos’s pubs. A very special thank you to Ursina, Portico, Brinjal, Jimbob64, The Mighty Stang & Hairplug4men for bringing it to my attention!

07/01/17 09:24 PM Ran into Raven George. He distracted the monster with some magic tricks, giving me time for a quick prayer.

06/25/17 07:54 PM Cuddles refused to let me ride him until I lose some weight. I snorted resentfully.

06/24/17 05:58 PM Cuddles roared loudly and charged at the Stalking Horse, but stumbled and fell. Yes, that’s definitely my alpha centaur.

06/22/17 10:43 PM Bertha Tuton stopped by and gave me a hug. Life is beautiful!

06/21/17 05:39 PM Aroes came in and attacked the merchant, screaming about a fake healing potion. In the confusion, I took a ZPG controller from the counter.

06/19/17 07:32 PM This looks like a job for Anita P Nao! Retreat!

06/13/17 23:04 I saw Centuria Christian completing the crossword. On closer inspection she’d just written “Reality is the result of severe psychedelic deficiency.” in the boxes. Some people really need to get out more. (Krox)

06/11/17 05:29 AM Couldn’t believe the trader didn’t notice Cuddles’s teeth marks on my dead pet rock! Managed to keep a straight face as he gave me 168 gold coins.

06/05/17 06:22 AM Took a nap on Cuddles’s warm furry back, and woke up many, many milestones further down the road. I should travel business class more often.

06/04/17 01:27 PM Linnea First-Evolved gave me a potent placebo for my hypochondria. At last, someone takes me seriously!

05/28/17 09:15 PM Waved my “Hug Central” badge in the surgeon’s face, showing off my guild status, and got patched up for free.

05/27/17 08:39 PM I heard a nearby Evil Twin yell “♡Hugs & much love!®♡”. You can assault me, kill me, take all of my gold and items, but when you steal the motto that I worked so hard to coin, that’s when it’s personal! It’s on now!

05/24/17 11:43 PM From what my shoulders are telling me, the weight of responsibility is roughly equal to the weight of the world. Somehow I’ve managed to measure the weight of responsibility. Found a chest full of money. Gonna go on a shopping spree.

05/24/17 12:28 PM Dassha Malcanthe asked me if I could finish her quest to measure the weight of responsibility for her. I’d do anything to help a frie… Hey! She hasn’t even started!

05/23/17 07:32 PM Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest and met Littletethis there. Drank from mugs to celebrate the lucky meeting and smoked a peace-pipe. Lost track of time.

05/21/17 05:40 PM Cuddles sat on the sidelines, batting his eyelashes and looking super cute. As soon as the Fail Whale turned its back to him, Cuddles struck it from behind with a tire iron. Good alpha centaur, you’ve always been very crafty.

05/18/17 12:59 AM Cuddles got tired of my constant dawdling, grabbed me by the neck and dragged me at top speed for several miles. He can be a real jerk sometimes.

05/16/17 09:26 PM Walked up to a nearby Spectral Spectre and in a conspiratorial voice whispered: “♡Hugs & much love!®♡”. The monster went pale with fear and ran away, leaving behind a bag of gold coins.

05/14/17 08:15 AM Carried Cuddles on my shoulders, so that he could see over the tall grass and alert me to possible danger. So far he’s alerted me to a ball of yarn, a dead pigeon and a lady alpha centaur…

05/14/17 03:17 AM Fell into another hero’s trap. I would have been injured, but BuzzdLytBeer was lying at the bottom and broke my fall.

05/13/17 06:01 AM A pouch with 333 gold coins in it fell from the sky onto the trader’s counter. He gleefully claimed it, then grumbled and handed it over when I pointed out the “Property of Centuria Christian” tag.

05/12/17 08:42 PM Repeatedly chanted, “♡Hugs & much love!®♡” to boost my morale, but realized a little too late that it was an incantation to summon a Notary of Death. To battle!

05/12/17 01:50 Argued with Centuria Christian about who my window shopping catalog truly belonged to. Cut it in half to prove it was mine. (Shadow Sloth)

05/10/17 09:47 PM Stealthily followed Galldemort to see if he knew a secret shortcut, but he just seemed to walk in circles. Eventually I caught up to him and asked what he’d been doing, and he sheepishly admitted he’d been following me, looking for a secret shortcut…

05/09/17 18:51 What a surprise! Centuria Christian stopped by to visit me. We chatted over a few drinks of healing potions. (Krox)

05/06/17 04:56 PM Fell into another hero’s trap. I would have been injured, but Dumb Bill was lying at the bottom and broke my fall.

05/01/17 08:52 AM Cuddles graciously gave me a quick ride on his back. I gave him a big hug as thanks.

04/28/16 07:44 Channeled my love from within and delivered a brutal hug to the monster. It suffered from a few moments of air deprivation. Thank you for the kindness, my Lord! (Faradur of the Sloth)

04/27/17 10:41 PM Yambag told me that even the most stingy traders would bite at the philosopher’s stone. If that’s true, the fish will bite for sure.

04/27/17 03:22 AM Met Vetryanka during a rest by the wayside and borrowed her diary to read. The writing is so similar… We’re obviously soulmates.

04/26/17 08:59 AM When I volunteered to offer therapy sessions for monsters, the questgiver said he had never seen such a sorry-looking heroine. He’s obviously never been to the tavern at closing time.

04/21/17 07:08 PM Trained Cuddles to strike a fierce and intimidating pose when I yell “♡Hugs & much love!®♡”. Now we’ll really look like a team!

04/21/17 13:54 What a surprise! Centuria Christian stopped by to visit me. We chatted over a few drinks of living water. (Ursina)

04/19/17 08:43 PM A majestic angel descended and started stitching up Diamand nearby. I’m really glad he survived, Omnipotent One, but what about me?

10/18/16 Saw my old friend Centuria Christian snoozing by the side of the road. I quickly drew a silly mustache on her face and ran off giggling, but then felt bad, returned, and left 76 gold coins in her pocket to compensate for my poor drawing skills. (Thorbjoern)

10/16/16 Suddenly, an atomic bon-bon cried out “Centuria Christian! You came back for me!”, and leapt off the shelves, into my arms. I’m sure there’s a simple explanation, but I don’t know what it is.

10/16/16 BlueStapler came in and attacked the merchant, screaming about a fake healing potion. In the confusion, I took a voodoo action figure from the counter.

10/16/16 Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest, but encountered Shtex there. We built a little field altar and prayed to our gods. Maybe we should build a pantheon next time.

10/01/16 Bark, bark, arf, woof… what?! Who wrote this? Cuddles, get your own diary!

10/01/16 Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest, but encountered Vale Cliff there. We built a little field altar and prayed to our gods. Maybe we should build a pantheon next time.

09/30/16 Divine enlightenment politely made it clear that I was calling my pet by the wrong name all this time. I’ll be calling him Cuddles from now on! first time to rename a pet

09/27/16 Elriana ran out of the bushes shouting, “Centuria Christian, I’m coming!” then crashed into a tree, knocking herself unconscious. Well, you know what they say — if you want something done right, do it yourself.

09/27/16 Who is that, staggering toward me? Is it Centuria Christian? Is it the “The Forsakens Lament” guild leader? No, it’s just a Software Giant! Why is that less scary to me? (Malice Red)

09/25/16 Met Centuria Christian and borrowed her diary to read. I edited several entries to make it more appealing. (Tom312)

09/18/16 What a surprise! Albea stopped by to visit me. We spoke over a few drinks of iodine solution.

09/15/16 I am Centuria Christian, and I approve this message.

09/11/16 Met Centuria Christian and worked out a new secret handshake around the campfire. Can’t wait to show everybody! (PippyPie)

09/08/16 Met Centuria Christian, and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health. (PippyPie)

08/25/16 Who is that, staggering toward me? Is it Hymulus? Is it the “Hug Central” guild leader? No, it’s just a Caterpillar of Strength! Why is that less scary to me? (The Rob)

08/23/16 Catnipp ran out of the bushes shouting “Centuria Christian, I’m coming!”, tripped over a tree root, and fell on the ground, knocking herself out cold. Well, you know what they say — if you want something done right, do it yourself.

08/23/16 Centuria Christian stopped by and gave me a hug. Life is beautiful! (PippyPie)

08/19/16 I saw Ezekiel Of Grandonia fighting an Average Foe. I waved, and the monster waved back. Awkward.

08/16/16 Centuria reached Huggernaut rank in Hug Central guild!

08/13/16 With its last breath the defeated Jelly Golem coughed up Centuria Christian and died. She looked a little shaken up, but handed me a continuum transfunctioner and 13 coins she found in its belly as a thank you for saving her. (PippyPie)

08/11/16 Centuria Christian stopped by and gave me a hug. Life is beautiful! (Tom312)

08/10/16 Moldy15 ran out of the bushes shouting “Centuria Christian, I’m coming!” and suddenly fell into a hidden pit. As usual, I have to do everything myself.

08/06/16 Hopped on Cuddles’s back and took a quick but bumpy ride. I really should get a saddle made that can fit this alpha centaur.

08/02/16 Met Centuria Christian, and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health. (Yofi)

07/28/16 Cuddles got tired of my constant dawdling, grabbed me by the neck and dragged me at top speed for several miles. He can be a real jerk sometimes.

07/27/16 “The Octopuss in Boots was preparing to finish me off when it glimpsed my guild badge and said “Hug Central? Why didn’t you say so?”, patted me kindly on the head, and smiled as I stumbled away.”

07/26/16 Sometimes I think about Centuria Christian, but most of the time I don’t. (Vactz)

07/25/16 Played a game of fetch with Cuddles and somehow lost. I think I need to come up with a new strategy next time.

07/23/16 Did I just see Cuddles rushing at the monster croaking “♡Hugs & much love!®♡!?”

07/21/16 I was riding on Cuddles until a traffic guard told me to refrain from riding until I procure a alpha centaur riding license.

07/20/16 While Cuddles sacrificed the Political Party Crasher to the God of Monsters, I sacrificed its out-of-body lotion and 38 gold coins to my beer fund.

07/18/16 Swung Cuddles by his tail and launched him into battle. He tore the Argyle Gargoyle to shreds, leaving a bottle of not-so-secret sauce and 32 gold coins behind. I may have to sleep with one eye open tonight, but it was totally worth it.

06/13/16 A majestic angel descended and started stitching up Moldy15 nearby. I’m really glad he survived, Luminous One, but what about me?

05/20/16 The doctor was running late, so Stevaloid and I discussed our ailments while waiting. Our symptoms are so similar!

05/17/16 Passed Nennekin on the road. He said I was going the wrong way. Like he knows where I’m going!

04/06/16 Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest, but encountered Holdwine there. We built a little field altar and prayed to our gods. Maybe we should build a pantheon next time.

04/06/16 Met up with Toresh and challenged him to see who could kick a wasp’s nest the furthest. We both lost.

04/05/16 Ran into Queen Flora. We both immediately pulled out our diaries. I thought I was the only one who did that!

03/21/16 Centuria Christian jumped in front of me and yelled, “Interception!” as the healing ray descended from the heavens. Please try it again, Soul Supreme, she’s gone now! (Myqpalzm)

03/06/16 Warned Vetryanka not to go into the dark-looking cave, but she went anyway. Brave heroine. Brave, stupid heroine. (Thorbjoern).

03/03/16 Played truth or dare with Centuria Christian. She dared me to feed a bad habit. Time to do a new quest!

11/30/15 Justin112 suddenly rushed past me, barked “Hi”, and finished off the High Horse. I’d better make more friends, it seems they can come in handy.

11/24/15 With its last breath the defeated Daymare coughed up Eran Jeager and died. He looked a little shaken up, but handed me a molecular cell phone and 38 coins he found in its belly as a thank you for saving him.

11/11/15 I was lying on the roadside trying to heal my wounds when Eran Jeager walked by and generously gave me a first aid kit. Too bad it was empty.

11/02/15 A log! A thousandth log! I’m even ready for a flood now. Not that I’m asking for it, Exalted One.

10/08/15 The trader suddenly congratulated me on being the first customer on his anniversary and rewarded me with an alchemical transmuter. Odd, I could have sworn this was the same shop that Big Al Shoeless said gave him the same gift yesterday.

09/21/15 Climbed a tree to avoid the First Person Shooter. Met Lord Wafflington avoiding his own problems.

09/19/15 06:18 Climbed a tree to avoid the Piggy Banker. Met Anterras avoiding his own problems.

09/12/15 06:22 PM The guild psychiatrist giving the Rorschach test thinks I’m weird. What a hypocrite! He’s the one painting pictures of Centuria Christian performing strange acts with an invisible bottle of ink! (Wec25)

09/08/15 Ran into Jake the Epic Dog. I must remember to look where I’m going when I’m heroically retreating from a battle.

09/03/15 With its last breath the defeated Lounge Lizard coughed up Luciania and died. She looked a little shaken up, but handed me a monkey tennis racket and 26 gold coins she found in its belly as a thank you for saving her.

09/03/15 Warned Centuria Christian not to go into the dark-looking cave, but she went anyway. Brave heroine. Brave, stupid heroine. (Princess Pretty Toes)

09/03/15 Channeled my love from within and delivered a brutal hug to the monster. It suffered from a few moments of air deprivation. Thank you for the kindness, my Lord! (Myqpalzm)

08/31/15 I was following Centuria Christian when she turned around and said, “You shouldn’t be following me, I’m lost too.” (Jack the Epic Dog)

08/28/15 Played truth or dare with Centuria Christian. She dared me to orchestrate an unnecessarily complicated raid on a rival guild’s headquarters. Time to do a new quest! (Myqpalzm)

08/20/15 Met Hymulus, and together we rested by a campfire. The warm meal and the good company helped restore quite a bit of my health.

08/20/15 Sent a homing pigeon with a binary haiku attached to it for Luciania. Just passed by a Roaming Gnome roasting a pigeon…

08/16/15 With its last breath the defeated Killer Tomato coughed up Centuria Christian and died. She looked a little shaken up, but handed me an earth wind and fire alarm and 20 gold coins she found in its belly as a thank you for saving her. (Pancake Baron).

08/11/15 Found Toresh stranded at the bottom of a bear trap. Carefully avoided jumping into the trap myself, and instead fell into a nearby pit while looking for assistance.

07/22/15 I was following Galldemort when he turned around and said, “You shouldn’t be following me, I’m lost too.”

07/17/15 Fell into another hero’s trap. I would have been injured, but Banana Guy was lying at the bottom and broke my fall.

07/13/15 Met up with Stevaloid and challenged him to see who could kick a wasp’s nest the furthest. We both lost.

07/13/15 Met up with Anterras and challenged him to see who could kick a wasp’s nest the furthest. We both lost.

07/01/15 Climbed a tree to avoid the Lampless Genie. Met Hymulus avoiding his own problems.

06/16/15 Stealthily followed Stevaloid to see if he knew a secret shortcut, but he just seemed to walk in circles. Eventually I caught up to him and asked what he’d been doing, and he sheepishly admitted he’d been following me, looking for a secret shortcut…

06/06/15 Centuria Christian received a third degree burn from Jake the Epic Dog’s smoldering charisma.

06/03/15 In a flash, in place of the friendship bracelet, Luciania appeared in my backpack, screaming wildly. It appears I’ve made a new friend.

05/31/15 Stevaloid ran out of the bushes shouting “Centuria Christian, I’m coming!” and suddenly fell into a hidden pit. Well, you know what they say – if you want something done right, do it yourself.

05/18/15 While the enemy was taking a time-out, Pinkie Wec helped me cleanse my wounds and fed me some deliciously fresh buns.

05/10/15 Saw Eran Jeager approaching, and we tried to high-five each other as we walked past. Half an hour later we both came back to our senses with palm prints on our faces.

04/14/15 Met up with Big Al Shoeless who showed me some weapon tips.

03/25/15 What a surprise! Toresh stopped by to visit me. We spoke over a few drinks of living water.

03/08/15 As I feared the monster was going to finish me off, it turned out to be Galldemort in a Coal Mime’s costume. He winked at me and ran away laughing.

02/21/15 Stevaloid came in and attacked the merchant, screaming about a fake gold coin. In the confusion, I took a pint of no return from the counter.

01/30/15 Yelled '♡ Hugs!!!™ ♡' at the Boartender and it died laughing. Found 24 gold coins.

01/29/15 Centuria found a “Hero of the Day” award in her inventory. She's pretty sure lots of people have held it... and carried it around... and reminds Bess it is not a chew toy.

01/19/15 Centuria gets a lesson on how to duel from her friend Brinjal... <http://godvillegame.com/duels/log/gwcb1/> during her first scheduled duel.

11/20/14 10:45 Saw Sasha And Pasha looking down and gave her a hug. She gave me Bunch of wilted flowers as thanks for lightening her mood.

11/14/14 06:45: A comforting wind brought a smell of lavender and comfrey to me, as I felt a kiss brush against each and every wound. Thanks for the healing, my Goddess, but don't you think that was a little too personal?

11/13/14 07:06: Few can withstand the terrifying force of my '♡ Hugs!!!! ♡ ' battle cry. Unfortunately, this Hellaphant is one of them. To arms!

11/12/14 02:23: Yelled '♡ Hugs!!!! ♡ ' at the Talkshow Ghost and it died laughing. Found 27 coins.

11/07/14 12:18: A silly yellow bear gave me a hug, restoring several pixels of my health.

10/22/14 04:59: Gave a tree a hug today. It smiled at me as I walked away... It likes hugs.

10/19/14 11:49: After selling off my loot I shouted “♡ Hugs!!!! ♡ ” and heroically marched towards the local tavern.

10/18/14 02:34: The Barrel Fish said it was feeling down and needed a hug. So I gave it one. Around the neck. With a rope.

10/17/14 11:14: The “Hug Central” theme song blasted from the heavens over the main square as the farmer's market was showered with confetti in our guild colors. Real subtle publicity there, Great One.

10/16/14 11:14: Bess suddenly rushed in front of a runaway cart to rescue a child. I explained to the amazed onlookers that this was standard grounded hog training by the Hug Central guild. They will be talking about this for some time.

10/15/14 06:55 My Goddess, do you ever stop and think that maybe... just maybe... I might need a hug?

10/14/14 12:07 AM Channeled my love from within and delivered a brutal hug to the monster. It suffered from a few moments of air deprivation. Thank you for the kindness, my Lady!

10/09/14 02:14: Tried to be good. Planted some flowers along the roadside and hugged some kittens.

10/01/14 02:49 PM Met a Huggernaut who was not in battle with a hero. Proceeded onwards to correct the problem.

09/29/14 03:31: Tried to explain to Bess that 'taking cover' doesn't mean hogging all the blankets.

09/28/14 01:30 Felt lonely. Gave my bottle of breathable air to a passing stranger in exchange for a hug.

09/27/14 10:19: Bess cuddled up to my bruise and calmingly purred. Suddenly I felt a little bit better.

09/26/14 05:15: Bess is a good companion to me. He even licked my wounds clean after the last battle. Either that or I forgot to feed him.

06:13: Saw a sign reading “Happy Fun Guild guild rules!” Amended it by adding “Rule 1: Don't join this guild. Rule 2: If you're in this guild, leave immediately. Rule 3: Join Hug Central instead”. Tee hee!

02:05: Just when I thought the monster was going to kill me, it hugged me instead. It turns out that all this Resident Weevil wanted was a little love.

09/23/14 08:07: Saw another heroine sleeping in the sun. Wrote “♡ Hugs!!! ♡ ” on her forehead with sunblock, then ran off giggling.

10:01 AM Hugged a tree. It felt good, but I don't think the relationship's going anywhere.

08/14/14 09:38 PM Who wants a hug? Somebody? Anybody? Nobody? Guess I'll just hug myself then.

08/06/14 06:17AM Today I hugged Brinjal hoping to spread some cheer. While I was at it, I looted 3 coins from his pocket and walked away a little richer.

07/06/14 10:27PM Found someone who allowed me to join “Hug Central”. Hi, fellows!

07/01/14 As a real-life birthday present, I decided to make Bess the grounded hog my pet companion.

06/10/2013 00:00 - Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can’t believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lord! I feel delirious with happiness.

09/08/12 08:55AM I dreamed I lived in a world where there were no images or people to talk to, just millions of words everywhere. So glad to be awake from that nightmare!!

07/28/11 08:26PM I told the monster it had to wait for me while I wrote this down in my diary.

12/13/10 02:49PM Stumbled across a sign that read "caution, this sign has sharp corners!"

09/20/10 Sometime around this date Centuria found out about Godville and started attempting to encourage her hero on a semi-regular basis.

Extras