Boatmurdered

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The sign that hangs on the door ...
The previous neon sign, sadly destroyed by a rampaging elephant ...
Approaching the tavern, the hard way ...
The menu ...

Boatmurdered is a tavern in Godville that is notoriously difficult to reach safely and is an astoundingly dangerous place to drink at. It is famous for its unique beverages, which are tasty but often poisonous. One can expect to be savaged by angry dwarfs. The air is often foul with a stinking green miasma.

Here you will find such infamous Heroes as TouretteDog, Keyboard Fox, Locus and StarkRavingMad. For those who have imbibed one too many of their noxious brews, hope that Doctor Zero or Guerilla Medic is around to bring you back to life.


If you are not into the whole 'dwarf thing', then you best steer clear of this low-ceiling tavern. No 'short jokes' here, for fear of being cut off at the knees. No 'I'm feeling a little down' or 'I'm a bit short of cash'.


Boatmurdered is located under a mountain on the outskirts of Godville. You will know you are near when you start seeing the graveyard of elephant bones and the remnants of archaic siege engines. It is recommended that the delicate wear a full gas mask to pass through the foul and seething clouds closer to the tavern itself.

This is a very very old tavern, harking back to the very start of all things. The language is an ancient Dwarven dialect usually known as pseudo-ASCII. The main hall is a sad and despondent place, with more than a few Dwarf skeletons rotting quietly in the distant corners. But all-in-all, Boatmurdered is a very popular place with a teeming night life. There's a lot of fun to be had singing ancient Dwarf melodies and quaffing the unique beers.


On a minor note, it is wise to bring some stout climbing rope, a grapnel and maybe a shovel, as most of the entrances and tunnels are booby-trapped. You have been warned.


(Read more about this quaint tavern here Boatmurdered

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