William de Worde enters his office, the hum of the presses in the background, and hangs up his hat. Moving some papers out of the way, he sits and pulls a device out of his pocket. Staring at it, he rubs his face. How am I going to turn this into something people will read?
He pulls out a notebook and pokes at the device. An imp pops out. Yes? What can I do?
Replay the interview from earlier.
The imp makes a squeaking, scratchy noise for a few moments, then stops and proceeds, A lie can make it around -
Stop! That's too far! Rubbing his temples. I meant the interview from earlier today. Why did I agree to write this? I've never even heard of a wiki before today, and I'm supposed to write one for a moody goddess?
Why didn't you say so? the imp makes the same high pitched scritching noise, and De Worde hears himself, as interpreted through the imp:
WDW: Testing. Testing.
Imp: Yes, yes, go on, I can hear you just fine.
Otto Von Chrek: I don't know if I like the light in here. fumbling in one of many vest pockets, pulls out a device, starts wandering around the room.
Bellaouthena: What's wrong with the light? I designed this temple myself, you know.
WDW: Don't mind him, he's an iconographer, they're always going on about the light.
B: Okay... So. I asked you here because I need help writing my wiki. I want it to tell people about who I am as a goddess, and make me sound awesome without sounding like I'm bragging.
WDW: Alright. Well then. Let's start with... Who are you as a goddess?
B: I am the goddess of second chances. I can find the things you regret, and help you get over them. Or torture you with them, if I'm not happy with you. I did it to some ghosts, including that of a giantess, one time.
WDW: That's...that's useful?
B: It can be.
WDW: Okay... What are your other interests?
B: Oh, I have many. There's a mechanism called Ideabox through which the deities of Godville can actually create the world our heroes live in. It's one of my favorite pastimes, and I'm pretty good at it. When you write the article, don't say I said that. Make it like you think that. I'm in the top 100 of the Pantheon.
WDW: What's a pantheon?
B: There are several of them. They're a way to see how your hero compares to others in various areas. (Of course, everyone knows heroes don't get anywhere without a God pushing them.) I'm also in the top 100 for storytelling, although I'm not sure why.
WDW: What is storytelling?
B: Gods can write chronicles for their heroes. There are some really good ones out there. Some of my favorites are: TheGourdGod and his heroine Altina, The God of Monsters and his Prophet, Djonni and Djonniboy, Frogginator and Spider Monkey...
WDW: Names! Good... Names sell copy. Any other names you'd like to mention?
B: Well, I've got some friends I'm pretty fond of...
WDW: Wonderful! Who?
WDW: Wow, you're a pretty social goddess, aren't you?
B: Yes, I am. I love being out in the Godville community, meeting new people and hanging out with the deities I already know. Oh! That reminds me! Tuesday Tea with the Knights Who Say Ni is a can't miss event, created and (usually) hosted by the inimitable SarahAnnePDX. And Waffle Wednesday at Infinity Waffles run by Stickyorder is always fun, too! But I want to talk more about my accomplishments.
A crash and scream are heard in the background, followed by the sound of iconography equipment falling to the ground. De Worde winces, remembering the pile of ashes on the floor, where Otto Chrek stood a moment before.
WDW: Oh, dear. Looks like we'll have to continue this later.
B: Alright. Maybe next time we should start with the photo?
The imp clicks, its replay over. De Worde stares at his notepad. Gods, I'm going to have to go back there.