Beer Cub

From GodWiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Monsters of Godville
Beer Cub
Ursus cervisia
Class Mammal
Habitat Outskirts of Beerburgh, Beer Bay
Description Strong body with golden highlights and fluffy head

The Beer Cub (Ursus cervisia) is a monster closely related to the common bear. However, it differs in its behaviour, showing higher cognitive functions and stronger desire to drink.


Historically, Beer Cubs are believed to have been first mentioned and described in ancient chronicles of travelling zoologist Lady Dianne de la Fossey.[1] The chronicles mention a new subspecies of the brown bear, that has smaller stature and behavioural differences.

« Day 5: Finally found some bears. They seem to be smaller in size and very playful. And I don't know if it's just me but... are they dancing? Decided to set up a camp nearby to observe more closely.
Dianne de la Fossey, Grizzles in the Mist[1]

After a few days of observations, she noticed more significant differences in their behaviour.

« Day 7: That's absolutely fascinating, they're showing signs of reasoning and planning! Some of the bears seem to be preparing their meals in advance and seem to be using simple tools.
Dianne de la Fossey, Grizzles in the Mist[1]

It was later discovered that the bears had been collecting berries and fruits to ferment into alcohol, storing them in different places for days and ultimately feasting on them with the intent of getting thoroughly hammered.

"Beer me!"
« Day 435: Still here. I'm mostly mosquito larvae at this point. These freckin' bears are STILL drunk. A couple of times a day, they wander over to another tree, reach into a hole, and pull out a deerskin or pigskin and start swigging from it. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be writing about this any more. I need a shower.
Dianne de la Fossey, Unpublished diaries[2]


Beer Cubs love alcohol, especially beer. In the wild (deep in isolated areas), they will collect berries and store them in their dens to let them ferment. Amazed by the description of this behaviour in de la Fossey chronicles, a tavern owner and an esteemed brewer Lara Craftbeer decided to find out more. She wanted to gather more information about the process and try to create a new authentic recipe inspired by it.[3]

« After days of observations, I've decided to go in. I hit a couple of different fermenting stashes and stole some pigskins to analyse the brewing process in different stages. They seem to be mostly using meaculpaberries and Passionless fruit. I'm unclear on the exact process, but so far I can tell they chew the fruit up and then fill a large pigskin with the mash, adding various ingredients varying from a group to group.
Lara Craftbeer, Extreme Brewing: Into The Wild and Beyond[3]

However, the majority of their population today lives near human settlements, where they try to acquire beer more easily and more often. Instances have been known, where an old experienced Beer Cub, who hunted down a few heroes, got a taste for flesh infused with beer. These Beer Cubs have been reported wandering around taverns at the outskirts of towns, hunting drunkards who travel home late in the night, not realising they're easy and tasty prey.[4][5]

No hero has ever dared to tame this monster because of the respect for freedom of beer, and fear of sharing his own beer.


The Beer Cub really knows how to party


  • Very clever and cunning
  • Knows how to party
  • Sniffs out tipsy heroes easily


  • Difficult to drink, too fluffy
  • Can be bribed with a bottle of beer


  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 Lady de la Fossey, Dianne (approx. 1982 g.e.). Grizzlies in the mist. Unspecifiedistan University Press
  2. Lady de la Fossey, Dianne (approx. 1983 g.e.). Unpublished diaries. From a private collection of an anonymous philanthropist.
  3. 3.0 3.1 Craftbeer, Lara (2017 e.g.) Extreme Brewing: Into The Wild and Beyond. Beerburg's Brewer Publishers
  4. Barkeep's wife at The Rumour Mill
  5. Concerned guard in Beerburgh
Ursidae major Rootbear
Ursidae minor Bad News Bear Bear Minimum Bear Witness Bear-Faced Liar Bearlock Beer Cub Cucumbear Drop Bear Grizzled Bear Gummi Bear Hunny Bear ManBearPig Molar Bear Polaroid Bear Rugskin Bear Scare Bear Unbearable Grizzly Yellow Bear Yoga Bear
Ursidae domestica Bipolar Bear OctoBear Solar Bear
🍺 JanuWiki 2019 🍺
🍺 Lagers and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! 🍺
Complete article • ✒️ Stub • 📷 Picture required
Lagers Ale-chemist  🍻 Barbeerian  🍻 Beer Cub 🍻 Beer Golem  🍻 Beer Mugger 📷 🍻 Beerburglar  🍻 Beerkat  🍻 Beerserker  🍻 Beerwolf ✒️📷 🍻 Boartender ✒️📷 🍻 Brewpid the Reindeer  🍻 Delirium Tremendous 🍻 Diet Sprite 🍻 Drinkerella  🍻 Extra Dry Djinn  🍻 Maître Demon 🍻 Moonswine 🍻 Red Bull  🍻 Tea Rex  🍻 Inncreeper 🍻 Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat  🐱 Bureau-cat  🐱 Cat Herder 🐱 Ceiling Cat ✒️ 🐱 Conga Lion 🐱 Crouching Tiger 🐱 Dogmatic Cat 🐱 Fat Cat 🐱 Hell Kitty 🐱 Hell's Kitten ✒️📷 🐱 Karate Kitten ✒️ 🐱 Little White Lion 🐱 Meowntain Cat 🐱 Monorail Cat 🐱 Mortal Tomcat ✒️📷 🐱 Neferkitty 🐱 Photocopycat 🐱 Punk Panther  🐱 Rebel-Lion 🐱 Rootkitten 🐱 Shoving Leopard 🐱 Tiger Lily 🐱 Tire Iron Lion ✒️ 🐱 Trans Fat Cat 🐱 Weakest Lynx 🐱 Wiki Lynx ✒️📷 🐱 Worcestershire Cat
Bears Bear Minimum  🐻 More coming soon!
Oh My! Adminotaur  🏋️ Boozerker  🏋️ Exoskeletor 🏋️ Gastronaut 🏋️ Godbuster 🏋️ Grimelord 🏋️ Scaretaker 🏋️ Thug-of-war 🏋️ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab  🍻 Beer-battered beer  🍻 Beer-scented soap  🍻 Bottle of beer from a wall  🍻 Bottle of domesticated beer  🍻 Bottle of holy ale 🍻 Can of ambrosia  🍻 Dungeon brew 🍻 Exclamation pint  🍻 Fairy ale 🍻 Flask of witch's brewski 🍻 “Free beer” ticket  🍻 Instant beer tablet  🍻 Pint of no return 🍻 Portable beer cooler 🍻 Pot of strange brew 🍻 Strange brew 🍻 Vanishing pint 📷 🍻 “Wish you were beer” postcard
Equipment Ancient cork  🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles  🍻 Cardboard box 🍻 Cocktail umbrella 🍻 Cup of woe 🍻 Eye of the liger 🍻 Eyepatch of the tiger 🍻 Flea collar 🍻 Goblet of fire 🍻 Latex catsuit 🍻 Lion's mane 🍻 Liver warmer 🍻 Milk moustache 🍻 Nekomimi 🍻 Oktobervest 🍻 Old barrel 🍻 Tropical punch
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Deliver some sour gnomish beer to the dark elves 🍻 Find out how to turn a golden brick into a pint of beer 🍻 Sing all of “99 bottles of beer on the wall!” 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly ✒️📷 🍻 Lion belch ✒️📷 🍻 Sober view ✒️📷
Taverns All Inn 🍻 The Battle Toad 🍻 Caravanserai 🍻 The Den of Iniquity 🍻 Dunquestin 🍻 The Glass Cannon 🍻 The Mended Drum 🍻 Progress Bar  🍻 The Rumor Mill 🍻 Shepherd’s Stuff 🍻 Space Bar 🍻 The Sword & Sandal  🍻 The Whinery