Bear Minimum

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Monsters of Godville
Bear Minimum
Ursus minimalus
Class Mammal
Habitat Sunny meadows and woods
Description Deathly cute. Your hero's death.

The Bear Minimum (Ursus minimalus) is a monster closely related to bears. The name comes from its minimalistic appearance, consisting of the bare necessities to be considered a bear — four paws, bear-like head and some fur in the middle to hold it all together. While the Bear Minimum may look cute, heroes shouldn't let this lull them into a false sense of security, as it may attack at any moment.


The Bear Minimum was once an ordinary bear, roaming through the B-Trees Forest, eating berries and getting fat for the upcoming winter. One day, the beast came across a jar of honey, which it presumed was left behind by some picnickers. Unfortunately, it was wrong, because the honey was actually left there in a sacred grove by the great honey god Honeitus. Honeitus was enraged when he found out that his honey had been stolen. He cursed the guilty bear into its current minimal form, making it forever only 4 feet tall and weighing barely 100 pounds.


The Bear Minimum has an interesting hunting technique. It was observed to lure its prey in by its cuteness and cublike appearance, then viciously attack. Heroes who have survived its attack have trouble recovering and are scared to death by little furry animals.


  • Deadly sharp claws and teeth
  • Luscious fur
  • Makes friends easily


  • Can't reach top shelves
  • Short tempered
  • Likes belly scratches
Majora Rootbear
Domestica Bipolar Bear • OctoBear • Solar Bear
Ursidae incertae sedis Bad News Bear • Bear Minimum • Bear Witness • Bear-Faced Liar • Bearlock • Beer Cub • Cucumbear • Drop Bear • Grizzled Bear • Gummi Bear • Hunny Bear • ManBearPig • Molar Bear • Polaroid Bear • Rugskin Bear • Scare Bear • Unbearable Grizzly • Yellow Bear • Yoga Bear
JanuWiki 2019
Lagers Ale-chemist 🍻 Barbeerian 🍻 Beer Cub 🍻 Beer Golem 🍻 Beer Mugger 🍻 Beerburglar 🍻 Beerkat 🍻 Beerserker 🍻 Beerwolf 🍻 Boartender 🍻 Brewpid the Reindeer 🍻 Diet Sprite 🍻 Drinkerella 🍻 Extra Dry Djinn 🍻 Methylated Spiritualist 🍻 Red Bull 🍻 Tea Rex 🍻 Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat 🐱 Bureau-cat 🐱 Fat Cat 🐱 Meowntain Cat 🐱 Neferkitty 🐱 Photocopycat 🐱 Punk Panther 🐱 Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum 🐻 Drop Bear
Oh My! Adminotaur 🏋️ Boozerker 🏋️ Godbuster 🏋️ Thug-of-war 🏋️ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab 🍻 Beer-battered beer 🍻 Beer-scented soap 🍻 Bottle of beer from a wall 🍻 Bottle of domesticated beer 🍻 Bottle of holy ale 🍻 Can of ambrosia 🍻 Exclamation pint 🍻 “Free beer” ticket 🍻 Instant beer tablet 🍻 Pint of no return 🍻 Strange brew 🍻 Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork 🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly 🍻 Lion belch
Taverns All Inn 🍻 The Battle Toad 🍻 Caravanserai 🍻 Progress Bar 🍻 The Rumor Mill 🍻 The Sword & Sandal 🍻 The Whinery