Bear Minimum

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Monsters of Godville
Bear Minimum
Ursus minimalus
Bear_minimum.jpg
Class Mammal
Habitat Sunny meadows and woods
Description Deathly cute. Your hero's death.

The Bear Minimum (Ursus minimalus) is a monster closely related to bears. The name comes from its minimalistic appearance, consisting of the bare necessities to be considered a bear — four paws, bear-like head and some fur in the middle to hold it all together. While the Bear Minimum may look cute, heroes shouldn't let this lull them into a false sense of security, as it may attack at any moment.

History

The Bear Minimum was once an ordinary bear, roaming through the B-Trees Forest, eating berries and getting fat for the upcoming winter. One day, the beast came across a jar of honey, which it presumed was left behind by some picnickers. Unfortunately, it was wrong, because the honey was actually left there in a sacred grove by the great honey god Honeitus. Honeitus was enraged when he found out that his honey had been stolen. He cursed the guilty bear into its current minimal form, making it forever only 4 feet tall and weighing barely 100 pounds.

Attributes

The Bear Minimum has an interesting hunting technique. It was observed to lure its prey in by its cuteness and cublike appearance, then viciously attack. Heroes who have survived its attack have trouble recovering and are scared to death by little furry animals.

Strengths

  • Deadly sharp claws and teeth
  • Luscious fur
  • Makes friends easily

Weaknesses

  • Can't reach top shelves
  • Short tempered
  • Likes belly scratches
Ursidae
Ursidae major Rootbear
Ursidae minor Bad News Bear Bear Minimum Bear Witness Bear-Faced Liar Bearlock Beer Cub Cucumbear Drop Bear Grizzled Bear Gummi Bear Hunny Bear ManBearPig Molar Bear Polaroid Bear Rugskin Bear Scare Bear Unbearable Grizzly Yellow Bear Yoga Bear
Ursidae domestica Bipolar Bear OctoBear Solar Bear
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🍺 Lagers and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! 🍺
Complete article • ✒️ Stub • 📷 Picture required
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Bears Bear Minimum  🐻 More coming soon!
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Artifacts Bar tab  🍻 Beer-battered beer  🍻 Beer-scented soap  🍻 Bottle of beer from a wall  🍻 Bottle of domesticated beer  🍻 Bottle of holy ale 🍻 Can of ambrosia  🍻 Dungeon brew 🍻 Exclamation pint  🍻 Fairy ale 🍻 Flask of witch's brewski 🍻 “Free beer” ticket  🍻 Instant beer tablet  🍻 Pint of no return 🍻 Portable beer cooler 🍻 Pot of strange brew 🍻 Strange brew 🍻 Vanishing pint 📷 🍻 “Wish you were beer” postcard
Equipment Ancient cork  🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles  🍻 Cardboard box 🍻 Cocktail umbrella 🍻 Cup of woe 🍻 Eye of the liger 🍻 Eyepatch of the tiger 🍻 Flea collar 🍻 Goblet of fire 🍻 Latex catsuit 🍻 Lion's mane 🍻 Liver warmer 🍻 Milk moustache 🍻 Nekomimi 🍻 Oktobervest 🍻 Old barrel 🍻 Tropical punch
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Deliver some sour gnomish beer to the dark elves 🍻 Find out how to turn a golden brick into a pint of beer 🍻 Sing all of “99 bottles of beer on the wall!” 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly ✒️📷 🍻 Lion belch ✒️📷 🍻 Sober view ✒️📷
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