Bard Against Humanity

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Monsters of Godville
Bard Against Humanity
Ss40.jpg
Class Upset Humanoid
Habitat Abandoned taverns and new age music stores
Description Very vocal nihilist

The Bard Aginst Humanity (Bardicus Offendus) is a human turned "monster", or so a Hero will tell you. In reality this bard has had his spirits crushed one too many times by rowdy heroes interrupting his sonnets, and beer mugs being thrown at him as he's jeered out of every tavern by heroes with hangovers who are quite displeased by his noise. Years of bottled up contempt bubbled over until the bard loses all faith in his fellow man, leaving a bitter husk of cynicism, and a lute being thrown over the head of any hero who dares cross his brooding path.

Despite his shunning of civilization, the Bard Against Humanity can still be seen wandering between milestones, singing laments and melodramatic poetry of his own making. His sheer disgust with human decency has warped even his poems, making him write about the most controversial and socially sensitive topics he can think of. And bees?

Attributes

Strengths

  • Silver tongue
  • Agile and Nimble
  • Has a lot more hate stored up than you'd expect
  • His trite poetry will lull even the most oblivious hero to sleep, leaving them open to attack
  • Rumors say he has a falcon with a box on its head

Weaknesses

  • Delicate sensibilities
  • Bards are scrawny and squishy
  • Bards are VERY scrawny and squishy