Asset liquidizer

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Artifacts of Godville
Asset liquidizer
Type 🧷Normal
Description Burning steel and more

The miracles of space age corporatocracy.

Lo and behold!

Before your enhanced eyes lays the future of transactions. This handy device turns any kind of metal into a liquid mass easily stored in airtight containers. Press the trigger and watch your gold bars go down the drain.

For the feasible price of 3300ƒ (slaves, weapons and planets accepted as a payment) you may acquire one. Let your capital flow free, freely into our hands of course.

Sales pitch from Phaeton Corp

Stop sending them to MK-4

[Station L-MK-7 / From: Manager / To: Logistics dep. chief / 3:19AM 11/09/4886]

This is my last warning, stop sending them liquidizers to planet MK-4. Those blue beams are not orders, you dimwits. If I see just one more package dropping there y'all will be in front of a firing squad in less than it takes to microwave a cake.

PS: If i hear anyone calling that dammit rock Godville again i'll bash their skulls in with my own seven hands.

PSS: Corporate day is in two weeks, bear in mind.

It melts pots!!!

!Hero's Diary
Diary, you wouldn't believe what happened today! Remember that strange egg that fell yesternight? Well, there was a device inside it and it shoots beams of light. But guess what, IT MELTS IRON!!! With this heavenly artifact i'll finally be able to banish them lumberjacks from my forest. Their pots, furnaces and tools will all amount to a shiny pool. Gosh, it's great to be on your good graces m'lady.