Abyboi

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Abyboi
Abyboi 1.jpg
Championed by the Hero: Travis The Adorable
Personality: Quirky
Gender: Male
Guild: A Band of Punks
Guild Position: Freaking God

The God Abyboi

Abyboi is a kind and generous God that is fond of practical jokes and trickery. He is the champion of the clumsy and innocent-minded, and part of a pantheon of Gods worshiped by punks and children, as well as comedians and mimes.

Origin

Legend states that Abyboi was the child of a much more evil God in ancient times named Maltholitolious. After becoming bored with the pleasure of punishing humans, Maltholitolious attempted to create a son that would take delight in hurting people as much as himself. Unfortunately for the evil God he chose to bear his child with a kind woman in Godville named Veruka, and when the child was born he took with himself a copy of his mother’s loving spirit. Maltholitolious tried in vain for centuries to teach his son to appreciate evil, but Abyboi felt too much compassion to do his father’s bidding.

One tale tells of when Maltholitolious called on Abyboi to destroy a poor man’s house after one of the malicious God’s priests prayed to him for vengeance. Seeing the pathetic farmer’s plight Abyboi tricked the evil cleric into signing a absurdly complicated contract he thought guaranteed him wealth in the event of the farmer’s loss of property. Abyboi then destroyed the cottage in a great blaze started when a chicken attempted to smoke a cigarette. But when the ashes still smoldered on the ground it came to light that the cleric had actually signed away all of his own property to the farmer, leaving himself penniless. A clause in the contract also specified that the priest would have to undergo Ferret-legging once a week or be subject to incarceration, although later Abyboi dismissed this in favor of having the man change his name to Fartbreath Stumphumper.

Cast away from his father’s kingdom for his disobedience Abyboi found himself wandering the world with curiosity, taking comfort in the company of humans that made him laugh and helping to elevate their spirits through humor. He also takes delight in being called upon to play tricks upon ignorant humans such as greedy politicians and selfish ideological bullies.

Champion

Abyboi’s favorite hero in Godville is Travis The Adorable, a clumsy punk who he tries to guard fiercely from harm. Although his hero is painfully slow at building a temple in his God’s honor Abyboi is more interested in the health and safety of his human, as he has a tendency to mess up even the most simple of tasks. Abyboi often has to remind his hero of his fragility with commands such as “do NOT attempt to fight that thing using toenail clippers” and “for the love of ME put your clothes back on, you are not invisible without your armor dude!”