The ARAIG Guild is one of the many guilds open to aspiring heroes in the Godville universe. It conglomerates itself into the discovery and unraveling of the mysteries surrounding the Godville universe, or so it says in their pamphlet.
It is uncertain where and how ARAIG has come to be. Some alleged that it was when a hero named D-BULL, armed with nothing but chop sticks, rescued an entire village from a terrible undefeated monster. While this story is accepted by most, there are many more claims to the formation of the guild.
Basic Recruitment Skills
If you seek a path in joining this guild, you will be a step in the right direction. We only accept "AS REAL AS IT GETS HEROES" into our barracks, evil doers and holy ones are welcome. We try to resolve our problems by all means. To join simply copy and paste the following into your Voice of god: Join the "ARAIG" guild.
The Legend of the Crazed Godville Administrator
One of the ARAIG researchers stumbled upon an old myth written on a discarded parchment paper (it got stuck on his shoe after he had stepped on some gum). It offers a possible--albeit cracked--origin of the guild involving a banished Godville Administrator.
In an indefinite time, long ago, a Godville Administrator was said to have been banished from the heavenly realm. The entity was cast off as a fallen due to an unhealthy obsession with baked goods that drove him to attack random heroes and villages. This prompted a group of wizards to band together in hopes of forming a union capable of subduing the divine being.
Dismayed upon knowing that rumors about Godville Administrators having as much power--if not more--than their own deities were true, the heroes figured that they do not possess the power to completely destroy the being, for it could instantaneously resurrect itself. In a bout of despair, the heroes called upon the powers of their Gods and Goddesses and cast deus ex panis, a spell that enables the user to store divine energy in the nearest baked treat(which happened to be a piece of half-eaten orange chicken in chop sticks on the Godville Administrator's hand) despite knowing that the crazed being could escape. Oddly, a happy hum was heard from the sealed chop sticks alluding to the being's contentment.
By then, the heroes realized that chop stick prison probably meant heaven to a chinese addict. To completely destroy the creature, however, they needed the intervention of another just as powerful. The heroes then undertook the dangerous mission of offering the sealed chop sticks to another Godville Administrator (In hopes that his divine digestive juices does the trick) before the crazy one completely consumes it and breaks free. They prayed to their own Gods that the Godville Administrator they chose to offer the goods to does not notice anything amiss (partly because they were practically tricking the being to committing cannibalism, and because they do not know how to explain why that particular piece of good could hum) Luckily for them, the offeree was deaf and gladly chomped on the goods with large crunchy bites and slow chewing motions (the screams did nothing but add to the mortification of the heroes). The offerers were further relieved when the only side effect was an upset stomach (they did not want to see the maniac clawing through someone else's stomach).
Since then, the heroes stuck with each other (because they had nothing else to do and had lost pretty much everything during the fight) and established a guild(mostly for borrowing money from each other), naming it after the chop stick menace that caused and ended all the mess (they initially wanted to call it "Bums United" but thought better of it).
The Chronicles of the Hero D-BULL
In a small village, a few miles west of Godville, a terrible monster wreaks havoc in its fearful citizens. It was on a full moon when D-BULL, possibly drunk, offered to defeat the creature for payment of a meal at a local inn. The citizens merely shrugged their shoulders and barred their windows and doors, a clear 'go and get your head bitten off' signal to the broke hero. They considered it advantageous, for the beast would have its fill of sacrifice and they would be rid of another worthless bum.
The villagers were not unimpressed by the hero's courage. Even through closed doors and at a very safe distance, they watched the hero face the monster alone. As they nervously nibbled on their popcorn, the hero (being extremely wasted) stared unflinchingly at the monster. Seeing the rows of pointed teeth (and was that a leg bone stuck in between?) he paled and became completely sober. He grabbed his weapon--or at least tried to realizing that he had unwittingly left it at the inn(not that his level -8 pointy stick could do much harm). Desperately trying to stay alive as he tried to dodge the monsters teeth and claws, he found chop sticks on the ground (that must have been dropped while everyone was rushing to hide.) Not caring about why there was such an item on the ground (or the more important how long has it been unnoticed) he chucked it at the moment before the monster's mouth snapped shut. To the amazement of the villagers, the monster began convulsing and literally dropped dead in an undignified manner with its tongue rolling out of its mouth much like a carpet beckoning entrance to a cave.
The hero, who had assumed the fetal position to make himself a smaller target, had been oblivious to the cheers of the people until they picked him up and tossed him in the air. A guild was then built honoring him and heroes far and wide have come to respect and admire his cleverness in battle. Since then chop sticks had been a symbol of ingenuity and dumb luck.
Our glorious guild has recently begun a war against the vile and evil forces of The ISOs. They have long been a blight to our fair land, and we will not allow their reign of terror to go unoppossed. We invited them to our castle in Godville and managed to trick them into drinking large doses of Holy Water. This caused their evil to be purged, although the effects were unfortunately temporary. Thus began our glorious war, which is expected to continue for quite some time. Let all who join us sharpen their swords, and prepare for battle! We are "AS REAL AS IT GETS", and we will be feared by all forces!!
Titles: KING / MASTER / Protector of ARAIG
As the founder of our guild, Dylanwaynebull was a fine leader and deeply devoted until a great tragedy occurred. Dylanwaynebull lost a bet to, shunned and alone, left this guild and joined The ISOs, becoming (even more of) an alchoholic. He shall return and get revenge upon The ISOs.
stepped up and took charge of the guild. Yitzy is now on his second term.
ARAIG Notable Members
All members of the guild with a temple will be noted here. If you feel that your name should be here, please contactor .
All members of the guild with The Animalist Medal will be noted here. If you feel that your name should be here, please contactor .
All members of the guild with an Ark will be noted here. If you feel that your name should be here, please contactor .