100-lb feather

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Artifacts of Godville
100-lb feather
Feather.jpg
Type 🧷Normal
Description Although this feather is a normal size, it somehow weighs 100 pounds.

The 100-lb feather was originally created by a teacher who tired of sacrificing his pillows and featherbeds to show students the answers to the twin questions "which is lighter: 100 pounds of feathers or 100 pounds of lead?" and "which of them falls faster?" It made its way into the Godville economy when a shipping container full of this artifact, bound for the Sacred Archipelago, fell overboard and drifted ashore in the port of Godville.

General History

Many, many chickens, turkeys, geese, and ostriches were harmed in the making of the 100-lb feather. In fact, the near-extinction of the eider duck is what prompted the development of this modern marvel of classroom equipment. One Mr. Riley Simandovich, teacher of the science of physics at the Lostway Academy, faced an annual challenge to demonstrate that 100 pounds of feathers weighs exactly the same as 100 pounds of lead, followed by the necessity to demonstrate that they fall at very different rates due to drag.[1] That challenge came in the form of always finding enough feathers for the task, because somehow, there was no way to save them from year to year.[2] Every year, Mr. Simandovich had to raid his collection of household feather goods, then go out and buy new. The cost of feathers rose precipitously. Feather-producing birds grew too scarred to grow new down to meet the demand, and began falling prey to hypothermia. The industry and Mr. Simandovich's wallet were in crisis.

Being a scientist, and having a handy-dandy second specialty in mechanical engineering, Mr. Simandovich sequestered himself in a laboratory to build a model of a feather that would look like a feather, feel like a feather, and behave like a feather, but weigh 100 pounds. The experiments took two months,[3] but resulted in Mr. Simandovich emerging dirty, exhausted, and starving, but victorious. The 100-lb feather was born.

Mr. Simandovich quickly sold the production secrets for creating this object to a teaching supply manufacturer for untold millions of gold coins and a promise to free supply of as many of these feather models as he wanted, but he returned to teaching.[4] He contentedly watched demand for the 100-lb feathers expand from teaching aids to pillow stuffing for dinosaurs and giants, and beyond.

The shipment of these novelties regularly traversed the choppy waters into the Sacred Archipelago, usually with no incidents. However, one time, an absent-minded cargo stacker neglected to tie down the container bearing the feathers, and it splashed over the side to go bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful, briny sea. It washed up in the central port of Godville, spilling its wares for every merchant[5] to pick up. Soon, monsters were buying up multiple feathers as their own loot and gifts for their families. And from there, the heroes and heroines discovered the peculiarities of this feather.

Managing (Modest) Expectations

Your hero will most likely sell it at the first opportunity to do so in order to literally lighten the loot burden. He or she will probably not log this in the diary, however, for fear of high expectations regarding this item's monetary value. It is only worth exactly what any other feather is worth; after all, it's only a model.

Footnotes

  1. "Why not just a pound of lead and a pound of feathers? Why 100?" "You're kidding, right? I'm teaching future heroes and heroines. They're not going to pay attention unless they see that it has something to do with their future smashing of monsters."
  2. Year 1: Feather stash sucked into the school vents and shredded by a spinning fan. Year 2: Custodian mistook bag of feathers for trash and disposed of it. Year 3: Fire marshal discovered feathers, declared them a fire hazard, and confiscated them. Year 4: [CENSORED].
  3. And indirectly caused the nervous breakdowns of 9 substitute teachers.
  4. "Leave those little monsters in someone else's hands to teach? You have got to be joking."
  5. If strong enough.