“God-Hero” dictionary

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Artifacts of Godville
“God-Hero” dictionary
godhero.jpg
Type 💎Bold
Description Some words may be lost in translation ...

For those heroes/heroines who are constantly trying to figure out what their god wants them to do, the God-Hero Dictionary is the best solution. Though most heroes/heroines are illiterate, this book looks very impressive in a hero's inventory and, since it's pretty rare, can be sold for quite a good price.

Some Gods argue, however, that the mere fact of having a book that might somehow allow them to communicate with the being whose will they are aimlessly following, increases the amount of God commands the hero/heroines interpret correctly. However, this theory has never been proven.

Since most heroes/heroines are illiterate and don't recognize the cover, they sell the book. However, this artifact is a win-win situation for Gods if a hero/heroine encounters it as the money can be used towards a gold brick or a retirement fund.

Don't be fooled by the apparent usefulness of the little Artifact as almost all the words, grammar and syntax get lost in translation.

  • A simple request for assistance from above is often interpreted as 'smite me with lightning'.
  • A prayer to the Almighty for a quick lightning bolt to smite a foe will be met with an herbal ear massage for same.
  • A call for resurrection will find you moldering in the grave.

There really is no fool proof way of communicating with your God. They only exist to make the life of a Hero difficult. Really, you're better off kneeling for a quick prayer then ducking for cover behind a thick wall.

To some, the God-Hero Dictionary is a rare Tome. Though well-intentioned, it's author was under the delusion that the Gods want to be understood. Evidence that at least some of them don't is that, though the book has over a thousand pages, it appears to be entirely blank. Researchers believe that the original content is still there, and one can actually see and read the entries, however some divine meddling causes the reader to have no memory of what they saw. For this reason, there is a high demand for this volume.

If a copy of this book is found, the hero is advised not to attempt to write in it. Unfortunately, the hero is likely to ignore such advice. It is speculated by priests of the High Order of Chaos that, if the veil ever lifts from these volumes, they will be found to contain mostly dirty jokes and badly drawn caricatures of merchants, heroes, and monsters performing indecent acts.